There are a lot of ways I have shown my undying devotion to cheese before. I have declared myself a cheesexual; I have eaten entire pizzas by myself; I have walked 70 blocks in the snow to my favorite cheese shop without a moment's hesitation. But these cheese plate necklaces are so above and beyond that they make my devotion to cheese look like child's play. Artist Lynn Alligham runs the Etsy shop TuckShop, where she handcrafts each of these beautiful gifts from the cheese gods and then sends them out to people like me, who are probably entirely unworthy of their magic. It's a dream that you can WEAR.
Now that I know these exist, I feel naked without one. I feel like these necklaces should be a part of the official uniform of life living. (Sorry, lactose intolerant friends.) I mean, just look at all the perks: They match everything. They never go out of style. And there isn't a single occasion in life that isn't improved by a cheese plate, so it's appropriate no matter where you're going. I'd argue that this cheese jewelry is actually the most versatile accessory of 2015. Nay, of ever. Here are a few of the delectable cheese plates you can choose from:
Crackers About Cheese Cameo Necklace
The only potential hazard I see here is that, much like a toddler, I would 100 percent try to put this in my mouth and be disappointed that it wasn't real.
I'm A Cheesy Lover Brooch Pin
Brooches: not just for your high school French teacher's bridge club anymore.
Cheese Party Platter Necklace
You bet I saved the best for last. And unfortunately, I am now so hungry that I'm about to try and eat this image off my keyboard. HOW CAN SOMETHING BE SO CHIC AND SO DELICIOUS AT THE SAME TIME?!
You might be wondering how Allingham manages to craft such itty bitty pieces of perfection, and the main answer is because she has more patience than any human I know. She started making handcrafted jewelry in 2009, and says she draws inspiration from Japanese craft. Beyond her Etsy shop, she sells her designs in boutiques across the UK and takes requests from customers looking for specialty items.
Allingham's artistry goes well beyond cheese plates, of course. She also makes tiny food models for dollhouses, and jewelry for pretty much any cuisine you can think of. For anyone else looking to get their grub on as fashionably as possible, try these cuties on for size:
Perfect Pastry Necklace
All the decadence of eating in a French café without actually having to drive somewhere and Instagram it.
Creamy Coffee And Croissants Necklace
I basically feel like Allingham found my dream Pinterest life and put it into jewelry.
You may not be able to have your cake and eat it too, but you're sure as hell able to have your cheese and wear it, too. If anybody needs me I'll be in the company fridge, face first in the cheese drawer until I achieve a level of cheese nirvana even halfway as worthy as these.