8 Things Your Partner Should Never Say During A Fight, Because Some Words Can't Be Unheard
I’ve found that one of the hardest things about being one half of a couple is figuring out how to fight fairly with your partner. I was raised in a household where yelling, crying, and slamming doors were not only acceptable behaviors for fighting but were, to some extent, expected. I’ve found over the years, however, that not everyone was raised with such high drama and that some people’s experiences of trauma from when their childhood can even be triggered by me freaking out in such a fashion. Since the last thing I want to do is hurt the people I love — even when we’re fighting — I’ve had to learn to tone it down.
Another thing I’ve learned is that there are some things you simply don’t say when you’re fighting with your partner, no matter how angry you are. It can be hard to keep control of yourself but a respectful adult simply doesn’t let the following phrases leave their lips when they’re in a fight with their partner, no matter how knock-down, drag-out it is.
So if your SO is dropping any of these bombs on you when you guys are arguing it may be time to DTMFA: dump the motherf*cker already.
1. “You’re Disgusting.”
It’s OK to be upset with someone but insulting who you are is never okay. Sure, your actions may disgust them or you may have done something terrible but it’s not OK to tell you that you yourself are disgusting.
Nooooooope. Nope, nope, nope. When someone tells you to “chill,” they’re discounting your emotions. This is a red flag that your SO won’t be willing to really listen to you when push comes to shove.
3. “You’re Just Like Your Mother!”
This is a guaranteed crazy-maker for most women that I know. All it does is escalate the problem.
4. “F*ck you!”
This kind of explosive cussing is, 1. unproductive and, 2. rude. If it’s not followed immediately by an apology, walk away.
5. “Just Go Kill Yourself.”
If someone thinks that you should commit suicide, even if it’s only in the spur of the moment, that is not someone who will respect you and keep you safe.
6. “I’m Going To Kill Myself If…”
Suicide is not a joking matter and threatening to commit suicide is a classic abuser move. They’re holding themselves hostage and that is not OK.
7. “I’ll Leave You If…”
This is another bomb that should only, only be thrown down if your SO truly cares so much about an issue that they’re willing to sacrifice your entire relationship. If they’re just dropping it casually all the time, it’s time to revaluate whether or not this relationship is right for you.
8. “Clean Yourself Up. You Look Like Sh*t.”
Never accept insults about how you look from someone who claims to love you but especially don’t accept it when you’re in the middle of a heated argument. Pulling attention to your looks is deflecting away from the issue at hand on top of being insulting.
Images: Giphy (8); Raul Lieberwirth/Flickr