10 College Professors You're Guaranteed To Meet Your Freshman Year
Despite what pop culture might tell you, college isn't all about sorority houses, wild keg parties, and campus coffee dates with all of your best girlfriends. Sure, those things exist. But, it's important to remember that college is actually school — which means you'll also have run-ins with a bunch of different types of college professors.
When you were in high school, I'm sure you had teachers who you adored, and teachers who pretty much drove you up a wall. I'd love to tell you that you'll escape this once you get to college, but it simply doesn't work that way. Tons of different professors exist on just one college campus — and no two are ever really the same.
You'll find some who you really click with. Others? Well, let's just say that class might be a challenge for you. You'll meet hilarious professors, and others who take themselves way too seriously. You might have a professor who's super relaxed and easy, yet another who seems to think their course is your sole priority. My personal favorite was a foreign professor who repeatedly wore his sweater vest backwards, despite our many attempts to clarify that he wasn't wearing it correctly. I'm telling you, you'll meet all kinds.
So, in an effort to prepare you for the vast assortment of professors you'll meet throughout your freshman year of college, I've pulled together this list of some of the common types of professors you might encounter in your labs and lecture halls. No, "backwards sweater vest professor" didn't make the list.
1. The "Best Friend" Professor
Undoubtedly, this is the professor you wish you had in every class. They're sarcastic, friendly, and occasionally let you out of class early. More than likely, you'll run into them in a campus bar during your senior year, where you'll share a warm embrace and a couple of beers. Best professor ever.
2. The "Shameless Self Promotion" Professor
Did your professor write a textbook — or eight? Prepare to read everything they've ever created throughout the semester, as well as constantly hear about their many academic accomplishments and accolades. Consider yourself lucky if you ever read anything that isn't written by them.
3. The "You'll Never Pass This Class" Professor
You've heard the stories about the 50 percent fail rate — and they're all true. This professor makes their class as close to impossible as they can. It's as if they take pleasure in watching you suffer. Advice for dealing with this monster? Review all of your old homework, quizzes, and exams. And never — I repeat, never — miss a class.
4. The "I Don't Want to Be Here Either" Professor
Ah yes, this professor is even less enthused to be in the lecture hall than you are. They breeze through their hour-long lessons in 20 minutes without breathing, and then send you on your merry way. It may seem like you hit the professor jackpot — until you get to the final exam, and realize they didn't actually teach you any of this stuff.
5. The "Good Luck Ever Understanding Me" Professor
I'm willing to bet you'll encounter at least one hard-to-understand professor during your freshman year, and probably even more throughout your college career. So, be prepared for the fact that you might have to listen to someone talk a mile a minute, or mumble under his breath, or speak with an incredibly thick accent. If you're lucky, you'll be able to pick up every fifth word they say. How do you make it through? Make sure you do all of the assigned readings, and follow up with any questions via email.
6. The "I'm Still High from Woodstock" Professor
Do you detect the faint scent of incense or weed? Are they wearing Birkenstocks? Do they repeatedly discuss the dangers of climate change — even though they teach a linguistics class? Yes, your professor is a hippie. Just go along with it.
7. The "I Know I'm Distractingly Good Looking" Professor
You'll likely come across a young professor or T.A. who is almost impossibly good looking, which can make it a little difficult to focus in class. If they're sweet and funny on top of being distractingly gorgeous? You're doomed. Just enjoy the view.
8. The "Don't Sit in the Front Row" Professor
Maybe you're one of those people who never wants to sit in the front row for fear of being randomly called on, or caught in the middle of your afternoon nap. But, with this professor, you need to avoid the front row for an entirely different reason. Their exuberant lecturing causes saliva to blanket at least the first three rows. It's like being in the "splash zone" at SeaWorld. Sit back a few rows, unless you've brought a poncho and an umbrella along.
9. The "I'll Make Note-Taking Impossible" Professor
You have no idea what this professor has against Powerpoint, but they refuse to use it. Instead, they stand in front of the class and drone on and on without breathing for an entire hour. On top of that, they punctuate almost every sentence with, "This is important — write this down!" Prepare for a hand cramp.
10. The "Politically Pushy" Professor
It doesn't matter if you're in an oceanography class or anatomy and physiology, you can expect tons of political rants from this professor. Of course, they welcome you to express your own political opinion — as long as it's the same as theirs.
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