You’ve dated, you’ve Tinder’d, you’ve sowed your wild oats and you finally found a guy or girl that you think is right for you right now. They're into some of the same things you are; they're cute; and they're actually in a place in his life where they're into the idea of having a relationship. Score! You two have been going out for awhile and you decide that it’s time to introduce them to the people you love. It’s a big step, right? Bringing a new SO into the fold can be totally nerve wracking, especially because there’s always the chance that you could be stuck in a situation where your friends and family don't like your new boyfriend or girlfriend.
This worst case scenario has happened to me a couple of times, which isn’t surprising when you take into account the fact that I have five brothers. Obviously they’re not going to like every single guy I bring home but there was one boyfriend in particular that they loved to hate. They weren’t even subtle or secretive about it because, well, that’s just not how my family operates. Needless to say, it was a rocky couple of years as I tried to keep my brother’s dislike hidden from my boyfriend while still trying to get him to know my family.
Friends are a whole other story. When your bestie doesn’t like your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’re pretty much screwed because at some point you’re going to have to choose between them and that is the absolute worst. However, I’d personally recommend paying attention to what your friends are saying about any new SO because, 1. they probably know you better than you know yourself and, 2. it’s likely they’ll be around longer.
If your friends and family are not as direct as mine and you have a sneaking suspicion they might not love your new paramour as much as you do, here are some clues that you just might be right.
1. They Keep Canceling On You
You make plans that include your partner, they agree, they cancel. Wash, rinse, repeat. Either you’ve worked up some very funky odor that no one has told you about or they’re not feeling your SO.
2. They Encourage You To Talk Smack
Instead of reassuring you when you complain about your SO (which is something we all do with family and friends), they encourage you to keep talking bad about them. Anyone who thinks you’re in a solid relationship will do the opposite so if this is the stance your loved ones are taking, they definitely don’t love your new one.
3. They Subtly Insult Them
Calling all passive aggressives! If they’re dropping subtle insults all the time about your SO’s looks or smarts or accomplishments, they’re not feeling it.
4. They Bring Up Past Bad Actions
Remember that time your SO got too drunk at a family event because he was super nervous about meeting your grandma and he said something really dumb? Your mom sure does.
5. They Don’t Want To Double Date
One of the great things about being partnered is going out with other couples that you both like spending time with. If no other couples want to go out with you but were totally down to hang out when you were single, chances are they’re not into your boo.
6. They Don't Include Them In Invites
Ouch. This one is less a “secret” sign and more of a big old f*ck you.
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