The absolute very first text was sent on December 3, 1992. A 22-year-old engineer named Neil Papworth sent it, and while at the time it seemed like an ingenious way to communicate (no more talking on the phone!), it has evolved into a plague upon our society, well, at least in terms of dating. Yes, something so brilliant and so innovative on the part of Papworth all those years ago has not only shaped the dating world as we know it, but opened up doors to all those offensive texts that women get. There’s a reason why things like “Bye, Filipe” exist.
Because women receiving offensive texts is so commonplace, Elite Daily put together a video appropriately titled “Women Read Offensive Texts,” in which a bunch of lovely ladies read out loud the offensive texts they’ve received from guys. At first some seem almost sweet, then just as you think you have a stellar guy on your hands, he becomes just like all the rest. Although I’m not sure why any of these women saved these awful texts, I’m at least happy it proves that it really does happen to every woman and always evokes the same WTF response from us all.
Here are the nine types of offensive texts women get; so, no, you’re not alone.
1. The 'You're Crazy' Text
Oh, the most original of all offensive texts is the one in which a woman is accused of being crazy, isn't it? I mean, can't dudes get a new line ― and more importantly learn their "you're" from their "your?" If you're going to try to insult someone, at least spell all the words in the insult correctly.
2. The Less Than Subtle 'I Never Want To See You Again' Text
I guess we can give him points for being kind enough to return her sweatshirt as opposed to throwing it out with the trash... which is pretty much what he's trying to do with her. Oy vey.
3. The Backhanded Compliment Text
It's in these cases that one can't help but wonder why he just won't come out and say, "You're not my type." Dancing around it by complimenting her, then pretty much taking the compliment back is just a waste of text time for everyone involved.
4. The 'You Lied To Me About Your Looks' Text
This one can't even be considered a backhanded compliment; just a slap sent via text.
5. The Passive Aggressive Fat-Shaming Text
I want to live in a world where if I eat the whole pizza, I can eat the whole damn pizza and not be judged for it. So what if she had the munchies? So what if she went to the bodega at 3 a.m. and bought every bag of Fritos in the place, then went to the bodega across the street and did the same thing? Girl should get a high five, not a text questioning her ability to get out of bed after all those Fritos.
6. The Straight Up Asshole Text
This actually happened to me once, and after screaming into a pillow, I pulled myself together and managed not to text him a barrage of insults and F-bombs. In my case, the guy went on to get married, cheat on his wife on their wedding night, then he came home to all this things being ablaze in the driveway. I'd say I dodged a bullet with that one.
7. The 'I'm Going To Change You Instead Of Accepting Your Weird Quirks' Text
Some food should be photographed so you never forget just how magical it was ― which is the least I can say for any man who doesn't appreciate capturing the beauty of a chicken McNugget forever.
8. The Coward Text
If you can't end things face-to-face or even over the phone, like with your voice, then really, what good are you to anybody?
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
Images: Elite Daily/YouTube