Austin 'BB17' Nomination Speech Is Epic

Does anyone have the foggiest idea what Austin was trying to say during his nomination speech on Sunday night's episode of Big Brother 17 ? No? Good, me neither. But still, one message was pretty loud and clear: Steve and John are this week's nominees, and I can't say I didn't see this one coming, even if it was a bit unclear there for a while.

If you had asked me who Austin was going to nominate for eviction this week after he won the Head of Household competition, I wouldn't have been able to answer you because I didn't have a clue. That's probably because Austin didn't know what move he wanted to make either.

That's because Austin is kind of in the best and worst standing in the house right now. He, Liz, and Julia are in an alliance with basically every single other person in the house. So what's a Judas to do?

Well, put up Steve and John, apparently. However, as a pro wrestler, Austin couldn't do that with some lame, diplomatic rationale that most Big Brother HoHs give when they nominate houseguests. A showman has to put on a show, and that's exactly what he did with the best nomination speech so far this season, and possibly even one of the best in Big Brother history.

Don't believe me? Well, this is one you're going to want to watch for yourself to get the full effect, but here's the full speech below just so you can get an idea of how amazingly existential, trippy, and confusing it really is:

"I'm conflicted. As a human being, I've always been conflicted. I think that life is meaningless and important at the same time. It's meaningless because we're all gonna die, but it's important because we're all living, we can love, and I can quest for knowledge because knowledge is power, right? Well, unfortunately those in power say what knowledge is, especially here. In week 5, I was supposed to be eliminated from this game. My fate was sealed. And if it wasn't for her winning a competition all by herself, I wouldn't be here, and I would've had no decisions to make. So now I'm not thinking just for myself. I'm thinking about her, too. I'm in an impossible situation this week. Johnny Mac and Steve, you were not a part what happened to me that week, so why are you guys on the block? You're victims just like I am, but unfortunately in life, victims, aren't we all? That's all I have to say."

I'm not sure why Austin said about 75 percent of what he did in that speech, but the main gist is that Steve and John are nominated and that he's looking out for his ride-or-die Liz until the very end. There was even a little tip of the hat to Vanessa's plan to backdoor him a few weeks ago, which he is clearly still not totally over and signals that she's not 100 percent safe this week either. Oooh, Austin. Such a way with words.

Though it looked like Austin was going to put Vanessa on the block after the major confrontations they had this week, I was ultimately not surprised that Steve and John are going to be fighting for their BB17 lives. Steve was acting real shady and doth protesting too much when his fellow Scamper Squad alliance members wanted him to take one for the team and be a pawn this week. He also may have kinda, sorta figured out that Austwin has an alliance with Meg and James, which is definitely not going to help his standing with them. Austwin hasn't really been trusting John either, especially since details about a potential final two deal with Steve came to light, even though it seemed like they wanted him on board with their game from here on out.

Well, it's certainly going to be interesting to see how the rest of this week shakes out. My hope is that it's at least as entertaining as Austin's nomination speech. Judging by what's gone down during this season of Big Brother, I have a good feeling that it will be.

For more on this season of Big Brother, check out Bustle's podcast The Diary Room below.

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