Previously on The Sims Big Brother 17: Sim Audrey and Sim Jace were too hangry to dance; Sim Da’Vonne floated around the house like a Ghost Sim; Sim Clay's scalp did an excellent impression of a Chia Pet; Sim James broke my "Do not clean up the newspapers" rule. Oh! I almost forgot: Sim Liz pretended like the gorgeous cake I set before her didn't exist. I took this slight personally. You can check out the previous installment of The Sims Big Brother 17 here.
The other night, I got a piece of lettuce stuck in my teeth while I was out at dinner. I did what I always do in such a situation: I retrieved my compact from my purse and prepared to take care of business. But when I flipped the mirror open, I was no longer worried about the leafy green wedged between my incisors: the reflection in the compact mirror was not my reflection. The eyes staring back at me belonged to the face of the Sim Grim Reaper. I have to change my ways, I thought. I'm having too much fun with this. If I keep going down this path, I will become the Sim Grim Reaper.
It all started with a relatively innocuous chess game. Then, there was a slightly less innocuous paint duel. Then, there was an obstacle course that almost broke the houseguests' bladders. And then, my megalomania reached its pinnacle: I threw a cutthroat dance-a-thon that ended in a brutal double elimination. The house needed a breather. I needed a breather. So, I decided to pump the brakes: This week, I organized a laid-back, very chill, no-frills darts contest. Easy peasy. It was exactly the reprieve both the houseguests and I needed.
(Whoever lost the match was—you guessed it!—sent to the eviction studio apartment. Like I'd skip the eviction altogether this week. Come on. What would be the fun in that?)
If this week's recap proves anything, it's that you don't need a wild 'n' crazy elimination challenge to keep things interesting. Let's get to it.
The Moment When Ghost Sim John Literally Scared The Crap Out Of Sim Clay:
Now that is how you start a show.
The Moment When Sim Austin Made Something Called "Grapes Pancakes":
Apparently, grapes pancakes are a Sims delicacy. The more you know!
The Moment When I Noticed The Living Room Area Of The Eviction Studio Apartment Was Too Cramped:
A two-seater for five people? *Clucks tongue.* This will not do.
The Moment When I Upgraded The Couch:
According to math, three seats is greater than two seats. YOU'RE WELCOME, ELIMINATED HOUSEGUESTS.
The Moment When Everyone Watched TV Together:
How nice! This isn't an awkward living room set up at all!
The Moment When Sim Jace Thought About A Dagger:
He's a regular ol' Stassi Schroeder.
The Moment When Ghost Sim Meg Wondered How Sim Liz Was Faring:
Ah, right. I've been meaning to check on Sim Liz. Thanks for the reminder, Ghost Sim Meg!
The Moment When Sim Liz Told Me To Talk To The Hand:
Because the face isn't going to pay Sim Big Brother/me any mind.
The Moment When I Prepared The Dart Board Challenge:
This week, I kept it simple (i.e., I resisted the urge to buy strobe lights and fog machines for the eviction challenge). I am making progress, y'all.
The Moment When Sim Da'Vonne Began The Match:
Sim Liz didn't participate. She was too busy shunning me/being invincible to deal with a game of darts.
The Moment When It was Sim Clay's Turn:
"If you mess this up," Sim Jackie hissed from the corner of the room, "you might as well just pack your bag right now."
The Moment When It Was Ghost Sim John's Turn:
As it turns out, Ghost Sims love to hurl sharp objects at a bullseye.
The Moment When It Was Ghost Sim Meg's Turn:
Terrific form, Ghost Sim Meg.
The Moment When It Was Sim Jackie's Turn:
And with that, the battle was over. Time for the results!
The Moment When Sim Clay's Team Won The Game:
"Team"? What do you mean "team"? I didn't tell the Sims to create darts teams. Who approved this?
The Moment When I Found Out Sim Clay And Sim Jackie Had Formed A Secret Darts Alliance:
Huh. So it was Sim Clay and Sim Jackie versus Sim Da'Vonne and the Ghost Sims? Well, then. I guess that means Sim Da'Vonne is out.
The Moment When Sim Da'Vonne Realized She'd Been Eliminated:
May this be a lesson to us all: Ghost Sims make for crappy darts teammates.
The Moment When Sim Da'Vonne Said Goodbye:
"The pair of you are shooting stars," Sim Da'Vonne said. "But Sim Liz is going to be a tough nut to crack. Best of luck."
The Moment When Sim Da'Vonne Told Sim Clay And Sim Jackie She'll Miss Them:
"I know I'll only be in the apartment upstairs," Sim Da'Vonne said, "but I might as well be a planet away."
The Moment When Sim Da'Vonne Moved Into The Eviction Studio Apartment:
One more twin bed, coming right up!
The Moment When Sim Jace Bolted Toward The Exit Elevator:
Where are you going, Sim Jace?
The Moment When Sim Jace Sprinted Past Sim Audrey And Sim Becky:
Might he be heading to the beach? The bookstore? The sports arena?
The Moment When Sim Jace Said Hello To His BFFs From The Other Side Of The Tank:
Ah. I should've known that's where he was going.
The Moment When Sim Jace Got Emotional:
"I won't have to steal the tank after all," Sim Jace told his fish friends. "I can visit you guys whenever I want! This is great news."
The Moment When Sim Becky And Sim Audrey Checked Out What Sim Jace Was Up To:
Sim Jace didn't take too kindly to Sim Audrey and Sim Becky crashing his reunion.
The Moment When Sim Jace Yelled At Sim Audrey And Sim Becky About Llamas:
These llama comments ruffled the feathers of both Sim Aubrey and Sim Becky.
The Moment When Sim Jace Continued To Scream About Llamas:
Why? I may never know.
The Moment When Sim Jace Thought About His Painting:
He wondered if he'd ever see his painting again. He stared at the fish tank. He changed his outfit. He stared at the fish tank some more.
The Moment When Sim Jace Fought A Trash Can:
I assume the trash can said something snarky at the expense of Sim Jace's fish friends.
The Moment When Sim Jace Cursed The Sunrise:
Congratulations, Sim Jace. You did it. You meandered around the lawn all night. Now go to back to the apartment before you pass out on top of that trash can.
Next week: I'll throw out the cake I bought for Sim Liz, the rest of the houseguests will spend an afternoon scrubbing the filthy bathrooms, and a twist will shake up The Sims BB17 house! (What's the twist? Nice try, buddy, but I'm not going to spoil it.)
(OK, fine. I'll give you a hint: rhymes with "flime flot floing floo floil flit.")
Images: The Sims/EA Games (30); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (30)