Britney Spears Releases Vegas Show Dance Rehearsal Video Because We Made Her
We've put her in a corner, and we've forced Britney Spears to release a video of her dance rehearsals to earn us back. Regarding her new Las Vegas residency, Spears has said it's "the most dancing I've ever done," prompting super fans, filled with the light of their unconditional love, to rejoice, while the rest of us cynics rolled our eyes in preemptive disappointment. We'd seen Spears rustle her shoulders and point in front of a troupe of spastic dancers that gave us the illusion of movement during her Femme Fatale world tour. We saw her do even less than that on Jimmy Kimmel. Our hopes for her long-dormant dancing abilities were not high, so she had to prove us cynical bastards wrong.
Of course, posting a video of one's rehearsals for a show she's hoping to sell two years worth of tickets for implies that the video is going to be chocked full of hair-whipping, hip-shaking goodness and unfortunately, the video only half-delivers. Spliced in with an interview with Spears and a separate chat with her choreographer, we see Spears rehearsing moves for one of her most iconic songs, "Toxic."
She whips her hair back and forth, she snaps down to the ground and snakes back up — moves she'd never have attempted in her last round of tour performances and talk show appearances — but it's still missing that Spears oomph. It's still not grabbing us the way she did when she ripped off that suit and tie at the VMAs in 2000. It's certainly no "I'm a Slave 4 U" with a yellow boa constrictor. But before we judge her again, like we always do, let's watch the video and then strongly consider a few things.
1. These are rehearsals, not polished performances
Sure, you expect that when a star releases a rehearsal video, they're really releasing a perfectly polished number performed in workout clothes, specifically chosen to make said star look flawless in their "sweaty, strained" rehearsal. Normally, it's all a ruse. And while Spears certainly looks well put-together in this video, it's clear she's working and learning and isn't that something to be applauded? She wants her old form back, so she's working for it and we get to see those efforts — a great deal of which have already pushed her past her former, dilapidated Femme Fatale stage presence.
Plus, if she was able to up her game for the "Work Bitch" video, then imagine what all this training could deliver. Even my cynical heart has to give her some props here, folks.
2. She's seriously improved
The woman wasn't willing to bend at the waist when we checked in with her a few years ago. We were disappointed, because in her younger body, she gave us reason to believe she was a superhuman performer. Now, she's certainly not back to her 20-year-old shape, but she's bringing some impressive game considering the trajectory she's had thus far.
3. Leave Britney Alone
She gets enough flack for her album Britney Jean, which is admittedly not great. Rumors of her lip syncing in Vegas are already ubiquitous. Someone released her measurements, because they thought it would be so illuminating to know how many inches of fabric go around her waist. Now that she's actually working harder than she has in the past, trying to earn back her shape, and showing us the process, turning on her would only be cruel.
The woman's had two babies, a mental breakdown, and media criticism since she was 18. Let's just give her this one thing and say, "Damn, girl. Keep up the good work."
Image: Tumblr/readjunk (GIF)