11 Things We Need in the 'Harry Potter' Play

Just as Harry Potter fans were finally recovering from the uncontrollable shock and excitement of J.K. Rowling's Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them announcement, the Queen comes along to throw us all into ecstatic fits yet again. When not busy writing the Fantastic Beasts screenplay, J.K. Rowling will be co-producing a play about Harry's time before Hogwarts, when he was just an orphaned wizard looking trying to fit in the muggle world.

Not much else is known about the play, besides the other producers (Sonia Friedman and Colin Callender) and that it will be performed in London. So American Potterheads, start saving up for those plane tickets—and London thought the Olympics brought a lot of visitors.

Of course we're all dying to know the details, like who will play Harry and the Dursleys, what new characters they'll include, when exactly it will take place and basically every single other piece of other information we can get our hands on. But there is some fun in not knowing, because then we can create our own ultimate visions of the play. Whatever Rowling and the writers come up is bound to blow away any and all expectations, so until it's revealed, here's what we hope to see in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stage (title still under discussion).

Harry's Awful Home Life

It's always painful to read/watch the Dursleys be so cruel to Harry just for existing, but it's an important part of his backstory. Despite his difficult upbringing, Harry is a good, courageous person. The more we see of his life in the cupboard under the stairs, the more respect we'll have for what he does in the future.

McGonagall Keeping A Lookout

The day Hagrid brought Harry to the Dursley's, McGonagall kept an eye on Privet Drive as a cat. About ten years later when letters from Hogwarts first started arriving for Harry, Uncle Vernon thought he saw a cat trying to read a map. I think McGonagall has always looked out for Harry, so maybe we'll see more of her throughout Harry's childhood.

Darren Criss

If Darren Criss was in any way involved in this play, all Harry Potter fans around the world would collectively lose their minds. No matter how great the play turns out to be, A Very Potter Musical will always be the original Harry Potter stage production. Criss has the experience both in theater and as Harry, please Ryan Murphy, give him some time off from Glee so that this can happen.


Okay, not that kind of fangirl. After he survived Voldemort's killing curse, The Boy Who Lived became a legend in the wizarding world. Maybe we can see Harry going about his business as a presumed Muggle, only to have weirdos in robes trying to shake his hand and get his autograph.

Uncle Vernon's Feelings About Mail

We all know why Sunday is such a fine day, and a callback to Uncle Vernon's strong opinions on postal service would be hilarious and perfect. The original scene also gave way to one of the best mashups of all time.

Accidental Magic

That fateful trip to the zoo couldn't have been the first time Harry used magic without even realizing it. Hopefully we'll get to see him as he tries to figure out why such strange things are always happening to him.


Anyone who's spent seven books in Harry's head knows that he has a lot of feelings and plenty to complain about. An even younger Harry stuck in his crappy Muggle life without any whining just wouldn't make sense.

An Awkward Crush

Part of what The Order of the Phoenix the worst is Harry's annoying obsession with Cho Chang. Their painful-to-watch kiss in the movie was truly horrific. Can we please have a nine-year-old Harry with a crush on some girl at school and no idea of how to handle it? We need to see how his disastrous love life first started.

Sassy Harry

Really the best form of Harry, well, maybe second to high-on-Felix-Felicis Harry.

Brutal Honesty

It's one play, not seven giant books or eight full-length movies. We don't have time to beat around the bush, people are going to have to be direct.

An Amazing Soundtrack

The kind of music that gets stuck in your head for roughly eight months every time you hear it.

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