Christina Applegate Thinks Christmas Songs are Creepy, And We Totally Agree
First of all, RIP Up All Night — still not over its cancellation. Second of all, Christina Applegate stopped by Conan last night to promote Anchorman 2 and true to form, O'Brien steered the conversation into strange, strange places. He and Applegate got to discussing Christmas songs where Applegate digressed into how "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" is about a "skanky ho." And though we'd never endorse any skanky ho-ho-ho shaming, we do agree with Applegate that the song is totally creepy. And that doesn't even include the lost (fake) lyrics about Mommy grabbing Santa's balls!
Aside from the kissing, let's talk about the actual creepiest part of this Christmas classic: the snooping kid. As the lyrics go, "She didn't see me creep/ Down the stairs to have a peep/ She thought that I was tucked up/ In my bedroom fast asleep." In and out of context, it kind of makes us wonder, how was this song ever recorded let alone massively popular?
Furthermore, Applegate and O'Brien delve into the even creepier nature of "Baby it's Cold Outside." Written and performed by Frank Loesser and his wife Lynn Garland and then famously sung by Louis Armstrong and Velma Middleton, the song is, well, sort of really awful. In the song, the man voice insists the woman stay despite her repeating "I really must go," and then sings about how he puts something in her drink. Seriously! "Put some records on while I pour" ..."Say what's in this drink?" Wait... how did we all manage to miss this? Oh right, the adorable Christmassy overlay masks it's horribly creepy meaning. Yikes.
So the next time you're singing along to your favorite Christmas tune, take a moment to actually listen to what you're singing. There's got to be something twisted going on with "Dominick the Christmas Donkey" and the people behind "Christmas Shoes" have to be actual monsters.
Watch them discuss what we're all thinking: