Bless everything that is nerdy and boozey, because now that these "Harry Shotter" shots exist, dreams you didn't even know you had are coming true. They are the brainchild of Graphic Nerdity, a nerd hub whose dedication to bringing the internet pun-tastic Potter shots basically just gave Harry Potter himself a run for his money. Sure, Harry, you saved us all from the clutches of the Dark Lord like 15 times and sacrificed your life in an effort to save humanity, but did you ever make us any slammin' cocktails? Yeah. That's what I thought, punk.
This is actually highly relevant to my life and times, as I've just started rereading the whole Harry Potter series for the first time in adulthood, and just yesterday helped contribute to a mass book club of coworkers who are intending to do the same. We meet in a month, and I would sooner face a dementor than not serve these at our book club gathering. TIME TO GET POTTER TURNT, Y'ALL.
For those of you who are too overwhelmed by the magic of this to fathom it, don't worry. You'll eventually recover from your excitement blackout and achieve the ultimate destiny as the drunk Potterhead your second grade teacher who first gave you the books had no idea you were born to be. In the meantime, I've broken each drink down by social situation so you have one less thing to stress about:
For All Those Times You Like Sports, And You Don't Care Who Knows
BRB, sidling up to a sports bar for the first time in my life solely to order this. Go team! Play the sports! Do the thing!! (Pretending to care about sports that aren't on broomsticks is important for getting free food in the Muggle world.)
For ~That Time~ Of The Month
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am (not).
For When Your Mom Says She Doesn't Remember Where She Left Your Old Hermione Granger Costume, And Why Can't You Keep Track Of Your Own Stuff, You're A Full Grown Adult, Aren't You
But BUT butbutbut — fine, it's casual, I'll just be a Muggle for Halloween instead. *sinks into pit of irrational, soul-sucking despair*
For When You Are Putting All The Other Wingmen In The Bar To Shame
Haaaaaaave you met Neville?
For When "Do The Hippogriff" By The Weird Sisters Starts Playing
For When Your Adult Friends Who Haven't Even Read The Books Tell You They're Just "Not Into" Harry Potter
R.I.P., our friendship. It was nice while it lasted.
Of course, as alluring as all of these look, Patrick, the creator of Graphic Nerdity, issues a warning on his site:
These drinks are not for beginners. By that I mean only experienced Harry Potter fans will appreciate the puns that went into making them. Full disclosure, a couple of them are awful. I’ll let you figure out which ones. Better yet, serve them to your friends and let them decide!
So go on, everyone. Be brave! Channel your inner Gryffindor, and taste the magical, boozey rainbow! Just remember ... don't drink and duel.
Images: Courtesy of Graphic Nerdity (7)