Relationships are like roller coaster rides: They're full of ups and downs and twists and turns, and if you don't trust your partner riding along with you isn't going to throw you off the ride and make you hate roller coasters forever, it's probably best not to get on with them in the first place. Just as trust is crucial to really enjoying your day at the amusement park, it's also a vital component of any healthy relationship. But even though we all want to think that we trust our partners, even the best of us end up in situations that make us wonder if we really, genuinely believe that our S.O. would never do anything to betray us.
It can be hard to put all your trust in one person, especially if doing so has hurt you in the past. Maybe that's why only 36 percent of people in the United States believe that other people can be trusted. There are plenty of ways to tell if your partner isn't trustworthy, but even the cynics among us can become blinded by love... and many of us end up paying the price for it when a partner is unfaithful or engages in behavior they know we wouldn't approve of. But despite all the things that can go wrong in a relationship, there are plenty of reasons to trust your partner as well. And when you finally find yourself having faith that your partner will do right by you, it's one of the greatest feelings in the world.
Even though deciding whether or not you trust your S.O. might seem like a no-brainer, it can be easy to convince yourself that you have faith in them even when something deep down inside you still gets a weird feeling about them. But if the following scenarios apply to you, there's no doubt that you completely trust the person you're dating.
1. You Don't Worry When They Go Out Without You
For someone who doesn't trust their partner, knowing that they're out drinking while you're at home because you have to get up early for work can be extremely nerve-wracking. What if they run into their ex while they're out? Or what if they have a few too many beers and start grinding with some hot stranger on the dance floor? If you really trust your partner, you don't even entertain these hypothetical situations in your head. You know that your S.O. doesn't need you constantly watching them to behave themselves, and if they are the type to get a bit handsy when they drink, you know they'll keep the alcohol to a minimum if you aren't there to give them a place to put their hands.
2. You Don't Care That They Have Some Seriously Attractive Friends
Believe it or not, cheating isn't as common as many of us think it is. A study by researchers Blow and Hartnett revealed that 75 percent of people in committed relationships have been faithful to their partners, which is honestly way more than a lot of us would expect given all the horror stories out there. So that means unless you're getting a really bad vibe, chances are good that you can relax about your partner's hot buddies. When you trust your partner not to get their face all up in the genitals of another person, it doesn't matter if they're BFFs with the trolls from Harry Potter or everyone who has ever graced the cover of a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Even if you feel a little insecure about your own looks when you meet all your partner's super hot buddies, you don't have to worry about any of them finding their way into your bed if you really believe your partner's heart (and other important body parts) are for you and only you.
3. You Don't Feel Compelled To Snoop
Whether or not you and your S.O. share your passwords with each other is completely up to you, and it doesn't necessarily indicate anything about how much you do or don't trust each other. If you really want to know how much you trust your partner's digital behavior, ask yourself if you've ever felt the need to take what you know about their log-in information and use it to see exactly what they've been doing online. If the idea of looking through their messages sounds more boring than intriguing, your brain and your heart probably know there's no reason to be digging through their online activity in the first place.
4. It Doesn't Bother You When You Don't Hear From Them For A While
Please, if you haven't heard anything from or about your partner in the past week when you normally talk every few hours, get a hold of people they know to make sure they're not chained up in someone's basement. However, if you know your partner is out at that loud, dirty bar that you hate while you've chosen to stay home, then there's likely nothing to worry about if they aren't responding immediately to all your texts. Someone who really trusts their partner will rest easy knowing that the chances of them not hearing their phone over the sounds of the terrible bar music are far greater than them ignoring you because they're busy getting a hand job at Thursday night karaoke.
5. You Don't Worry When You're Apart After A Fight
After a particularly heated argument, many people like to get out of the house and take a walk or drive somewhere just to "get away." Even the most loving partners might need some time apart after a particularly rough round of verbal sparring. If you really trust your S.O., you know that no matter how they calm down after a fight, they'd never do anything to jeopardize your relationship. After all, even when emotions run high, a truly trustworthy partner knows that it's better to repair the damage than create even more of a mess.
6. You Feel Relaxed When One Of You Goes Out Of Town
For couples who don't trust each other, having one of you go out of town while the other stays at home can be utterly nerve-wracking. I mean, what's your partner really going to do on their "business trip"? Is that woman who's going along really just a "coworker"? Is their suitcase really full of "clothes," or is it actually "cleverly disguised drugs"? Your S.O.'s trip across the country could very well be an easy path to doing the exact thing you don't want them to do while making sure they're far enough away that you'll never find out about it, but if you feel secure in your relationship, it's really just a trip with no suspicious quotation marks attached.
7. You Don't Feel Threatened When Other People Hit On Them
Different people feel different things when someone else tries to make a move on their partner. Some of us stand by and let it happen, perhaps with a sense of pride knowing that we're the one that desirable person is going home with tonight. Others might get a bit peeved... especially if the person trying to get it on with our partner is getting a bit too physical. But no matter what your feelings are towards seeing other people hitting on your S.O., knowing that your partner isn't going to do anything to encourage or reciprocate the affection is a big indicator of trust. Even if you are a bit annoyed watching someone try to hit on your beau, it's pretty nice to not feel threatened by anyone because you know that your S.O. is going to shut down any advances that come their way.
8. You Allow Them To Explain If You Do Feel Suspicious
If your partner does something that manages to send up a red or yellow flag, your reaction will say a lot about how much you really trust them. Immediately blowing up on them over a strange picture you found on their phone — even if there isn't enough evidence to immediately convict them of bad behavior — might suggest that you've expected something like this to happen all along, or that such a repulsive discovery doesn't surprise you too much. If you trust your partner, though, an inkling of suspicion isn't going to be enough to kick them to the curb without getting their side of the story first.
fter all, if they haven't done anything sketchy up until this point, it's at least worth hearing them out to make sure they've actually done something completely out of character. Plenty of great relationships have been ended based on misunderstandings before, but if you really trust your partner, you'll take reasonable steps to make sure that yours isn't one of them.
9. You Aren't Scared To Let Them See You At Your Worst
Whether you consider your "worst" to be those days when your depression hits you extra hard or the days when your foundation-less skin is covered in zits, it takes some real strength to let someone see the less pleasant sides of you. If you don't trust your partner, you might never let them see these parts of you at all, or you might believe that they'll think less of you for it. Maybe you even worry that they'll seek out someone who doesn't have the same "problems" that you do.
If you really trust your S.O., though, you'll have faith in the fact that they will stand by your side through both the good days and the bad. And when you can do that with the person you love, you can be rest assured that this is a relationship that your heart can feel safe in.
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