Life

For Everyone Obsessed With The Snapchat Update

by Eliza Castile

For most people, getting over the uproar around Snapchat lenses was simply a matter of remembering that there's a wide world of Internet cats to coo over. For those of us still obsessed with the new Snapchat update, though, moving on is rather more difficult. After all, how are you supposed to return to life as usual after you got to pretend you were Iron Man? There's just no getting over that knowledge, and to be quite honest, I'm not sure I would want to. Is that weird? Yes. A little obsessive? Heck yes. However, I offer this rebuttal: Puking. Rainbows.

I rest my case.

Chances are, some of you are shaking your head and heading straight for the back button right now, and I don't fault you for it. It's been weeks since Snapchat lenses made their glorious debut on our phones, and by now, you're probably tired of hearing about them. Intellectually, I know I should be #OverIt to the max — I've written about the update approximately a trillion times at this point (here, here, here, and here, if you need proof). For some reason, though, I just can't seem to quit the Snapchat update.

Whether it's because it fuels our inner narcissists or it's just plain fun, Snapchat lenses are incredibly addicting. And so, without further ado, here are the 16 stages of becoming obsessed with the Snapchat update. This time next year, maybe we'll use this list to create a 12-step program to recover from our Snapchat addictions, but for now, let's just enjoy the ride.

1. At first, it's a little weird...

The technology that went into this is pretty cool, but what's the big deal otherwise?

2. You pretend you get what all the fuss is about.

Yeah, I totally see why people like morphing their faces into creepily-distorted emoji. Totally.

3. But then you realize it's kinda fun.

Especially once you start sending videos.

4. You spend three hours puking rainbows.

Sure, there are more productive things, but why be an adult when you can emit steam from your nose?

5. You troll everyone you know.

Especially the people who don't have the update yet.

6. The vast majority of your Snapchats now use lenses.

#DealWithIt.

7. You start adding videos of playing around with lenses to your Story.

This is because...

8. Your friends all threaten to block you on Snapchat.

How dare they?!

9. You shrug and keep snappin'.

They knew what they were getting into when they became your friend.

10. You're constantly checking for new lenses.

Before you get up in the morning, after you go to bed, while you're in line at the post office — you're always on alert.

11. Sometimes you just play around with lenses without sending anything.

Nobody needs to know how much time you spent pretending you're on the cover of a magazine.

12. You turn your attention to the Trophy Case.

What's that tantalizing, shiny icon at the top of your screen doing there?

13. You're horrified by the amount of trophies you've accumulated.

At the same time, though, you're secretly pleased.

14. You realize you have a problem.

My epiphany came when I spent half an hour getting a lens just right, but I didn't actually plan on sending it to anyone.

15. You think about toning it down.

Maybe it's time for you and Snapchat to take a break.

16. You realize there are worse problems to have.

Haters gonna hate — what you and Snapchat have is special. Keep snappin', my friends.

Images: Giphy (16)