What A Couple's Sleeping Position Says About Them

by Kristine Fellizar

Experts say that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they sleep. Apparently, if you’re a back-sleeper, you’re more likely to be a Type A person, who walks tall, stands up straight, and just exudes confidence. On the other hand, if you’re the type who sleeps with your knees curled up into your chest like a little ball, you’re not only a cuddler, but you’re probably a little bit basic since the fetal position is the most common sleeping position. But sleeping alone is one thing. Sharing a bed with someone, is another. When you enter into a relationship, your personal identity blends in with your partner’s personal identity to form your couple’s identity. So, what does your sleeping position with a partner say about you as a couple? There’s no doubt that many great, strong relationship form when two independent people get together. But what happens when you put two people with different sleeping styles in one bed?

Lifestyle website, with the help of Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Success Signals, A Guide to Reading Body Language listed the top 10 most popular sleeping positions for couples. It’s no secret that when we sleep, our subconscious minds take over. According to, “the body language we use with a partner while we snooze can be a remarkably precise way to gauge what’s going on in our relationships.” Because of that, here’s what you can tell about your relationship based on your sleep positions.

1. The Spoon

According to a study by bed specialist Dreams of British couples earlier this year, relationship psychologist Corrine Sweet found that spooning was a “traditional position,” which demonstrated a dynamic in which, “one partner takes a protective stance over the other.”

While it may be sweet, it’s also a little bit sexy. According to body language expert, Patti Wood, “It’s a very vulnerable position that’s sexual, but says, ‘I trust you.’”

2. The Loose Spoon

If the spoon is what happens when you’re in the newlywed stage of your relationship, where everything is still fresh and hot, the loose spoon is what happens 25 years later. Apparently the loose spoon is what happens when the “relationship matures and each individual wants to revert to a position that produces the best quality of sleep.”

But that doesn’t necessarily signal anything wrong with the relationship. While it may not be as sexual as spooning, according to Woods, it’s like the big spoon saying, “I’ve got your back, you can count on me.”

3. The Chase

This is another variation of the spoon, where one person drifts to the other side of the best, while the other “chases” them. According to, this could mean two things. One, the person being chased wants to be pursued, or is playing hard to get. Two, the person has drifted away because they want their space.

4. The Tangle

This position occurs when a couple is completely entangled into each other. Arms and legs of both partners are just crisscrossed over each other. According to, the tangle is an “extremely intimate” position that usually occurs after lovemaking or at the start of a relationship.

While it’s great to want to be tangled up in your partner, that’s not necessarily a good thing. As New York-based psychotherapist, Elizabeth Flynn Campbell, told the site, “[the couple] could be overly enmeshed, too dependent on each other to sleep apart.”

5. The Unraveling Knot

You begin with the tangle, unravel after like 10 minutes, and you have the unraveling knot. But just because you’ve unraveled from your partner in your sleep, it doesn’t have any negative connotations for your relationship. According to, the unraveling knot position is “a compromise between intimacy and independence, allowing for the best of both worlds.”

6. The Liberty Lovers

This position occurs when you and your partner sleep facing opposite directions with space in between. The British study on sleep positions published earlier this year found that liberty lovers is actually a very popular sleeping style, in which 27 percent of couples admit to preferring. According to the study’s lead researcher, Corrine Sweet, couples who sleep back-to-back without touching are “connected and secure in themselves. This position shows both closeness and independence in the relationship.”

7. The Back Kissers

This position occurs when couples sleep back-to-back with their backs or bottoms touching. According to Sweet, this position, which is more common among newer couples, showcases that “both partners are relaxed and comfortable with one another.”

8. The Nuzzle

One partner rests their head on the other’s chest, while their legs are intertwined. According to, this sweet position is not only nurturing, but creates a sense of protection. There’s a high level of trust between partners and a sense of comradeship.

9. The Leg Hug

The leg hug occurs when one partner tries to play footsie with the other in bed, or intertwines their legs with their partner. According to Patti Wood, that means partners are craving emotional or sexual connections.

It also means that you can’t get enough of each other. As Wood said, “It means your lives are intertwined, that you function as a pair. You probably finish each other’s sentences and take care of each other.”

10. The Space Hog

As you have read, sharing a bed with another person can be a sweet, bonding experience. But if your partner tends to “starfish” out and hog the entire bed to themselves, that sweet bonding experience can quickly turn sour. Especially if you translate that behavior outside of the bedroom.

Someone who hogs the bed tends to be selfish. If one person dominates the space in the bed, they’re also okay with dominating the relationship, while their partner takes on a secondary role. Additionally, whoever sleeps closer to the headboard tends to feel more dominant and confident, while those who sleep further away tend to be more submissive.

So, if you’re looking to see whether or not you and your partner are equals in your relationship, see where your heads are at when you sleep. According to Wood, “When a couple’s heads are right next to each other, it means they are equal, and if they touch, even better – it’s a sign that they have like minds and know what’s going on in each other’s heads.”

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