From zombies to vampires to Donald Trump, sometimes it feels like all the great monsters have been done to death for Halloween. But there are more than just the traditional ways to strike fear into the hearts of everybody at the costume kegger. As she has for many a question, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling has got the answer to this one, too. Has there ever been a more loathsome, less repentant villain than Dolores Umbridge, Ministry Of Magic puppet and Hogwarts interim Headmistress? If you're looking to scare the bejesus out of your friends, dressing as Umbridge for your Halloween costume is the way to go. It's got to be the truth, because I must not tell lies.
It's October already, so there's no time to waste on putting together this costume. But don't fret: Umbridge is a relatively easy get-up to gather. Keep the Hogwarts robes in your closet for next year; this lady has got zero school spirit. Instead, think pink. Think the most nauseating, headache-inducing pink you can imagine, and then drape yourself in it, from head to toe. To make Halloween preparations even easier on you, I've put together these six simple steps to creating an accurate Dolores Umbridge costume that'll have trick-or-treaters cowering in your presence.
1. Pink Skirt Suit
To mimic Dolores Umbridge's wacky-yet-evil librarian look, go vintage for the meat of the ensemble. A two-piece skirt suit like this one from Etsy ($42) won't break the bank, but it also won't kill the effect with modern lines.
2. Pink Pillbox Hat
Vintage sellers will also be your best bet for sourcing one of Umbridge's signature pill box hats. This Etsy number ($24) is adorned with roses (she's the thorn, you see?) and is similar to one she wears to dinner in the Great Hall.
3. Umbridge's Wand
The witch's wand is an Ollivander's, of course; it's made of birchwood with a dragon heartstring core. If you can't swing over to Diagon Alley to pick one up, The Noble Collection has a nice replica available (approximately $55), or you can check out some of the handmade versions available on Etsy (various prices).
4. Cat Rings
A stuffy old grump likes her stuffy old jewelry, so definitely load up on chunky, vintage or vintage-inspired rings. But since Umbridge is also the ultimate cat lady, I think she'd make a modern accessory exception for these cat ear rings from Modcloth ($18).
5. A Pink, Fuzzy Cardigan
One likes to stay cozy while terrorizing students, doesn't one? Keep your shoulders warm by draping a sickeningly sweet sweater like this one from Etsy ($23) over your person. The more matronly, the better.
6. A Pinched Expression
Great news: the finishing touch to your Dolores Umbridge costume will cost you exactly $0. Just look disgusted by fun, Mudbloods, and children in general, and that'll do the trick. Happy Halloween, you horrible woman, you!