Why Your Expectations For Fall Will Never Meet Reality — VIDEO
I would like to go on the record saying I WARNED ALL OF YOU. There is no such thing as autumn; there is only that one week of moderately good weather, and then many moons of butt-chilling frozen sadness. And nothing quite encapsulates that disappointment as well as BuzzFeed's video on fall expectations versus reality. Hold onto your blanket scarves, guys, because it's time to deliver some pumpkin spice-flavored real sauce: fall is a manufactured LIE perpetuated by our merciless autumnal gods, and I am coming after the entire Harry Potter franchise and the inventor of scented candles for leading me to believe otherwise.
I am but one woman, so I have yet to figure out the solution to our sad autumnal woes — that is, unless you're willing to move to Seattle (it is autumn there, like, 80 percent of the time). But in the meantime, do what you can, fellow winter warriors. Instagram your lattes as aggressively as you can; wear all your floofy sweaters and leggings, and go frolic publicly and shamelessly while linking hands with baristas; bake however many autumnally-themed breads it takes to set off all the fire alarms in your apartment building. LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE, EVERYONE, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. Because this BuzzFeed video isn't just a funny poke at reality — it's a PSA. Winter is coming.
Here are just a few of the struggles of letting autumn's weirdness rule you:
You Think You Will Rock Your Blarf Like The Blarf Star You Are
BEHOLD THE POWER OF YOUR COZINESS.
... When Really, It Basically Feels Like You Have The Flu 24/7
Or hot flashes, some 30 years ahead of schedule.
Weep not for autumn, friends; because at this point, the premature winter will probably end up freezing your tears on your cheeks. Here are all the other disappointments to brace yourself for this year: