There's no denying it: children are cute. They're adorable. They melt hearts all over the damn place. Funny kid videos are so unstoppably appealing for a reason. They make our chests ache with an overabundance of warm, gushy love-feelings on the regular.
They're also the dirtiest little liars you will ever meet.
And while we try to see the good in our children—convincing ourselves they're angels on earth, completely incapable of doing anything remotely wrong (this usually happens when they're sleeping)—one thing is for sure: They don't like to tell the truth. Ever. No matter what. Even if the evidence is devastatingly obvious. Even if they know we know they're lying.
Thankfully, kids are genuinely bad at lying, which makes it all-the-more difficult for parents to take them seriously when they're knee-deep in excuses.
Just ask Jack's dad, who had a particularly difficult time trying to get dear ol' Jack to admit that he did, in fact, eat a cupcake. Because according to Jack, he didn't. No, he would never. In fact, he was home at the time where there are absolutely, positively no cupcakes to be found. So, it couldn't have been him. Dad's got the wrong guy! There was just one problem...
Cupcake thief Jack isn't alone. Here are 10 other times kids were the absolute worst liars:
"Mom did it."
Who else would color a perfectly good stomach with a marker? Good goin', mom!
"I was just washing the dishes!"
Look, parents. Getting into the Nutella does not leave one's face covered in chocolate. No, no, no. Washing the dishes does that. Just ask this three year old, who can't seem to keep a straight (or clean) face. Something tells me the mom isn't buying it.
"A ghost did it."
These two definitely need to get their stories straight. First, it was the brother's fault. Then, it was the sister's fault. Then (because obviously) it as a ghost's fault. Finally, the sister looked guilty, but only because she wanted to protect her baby bother from inevitable trouble. You know, like big sisters do.
"I did everything right!"
After (an admittedly impressive) story, this little girl tries to hide the donut she definitely wasn't supposed to have. When she's caught red-handed, she explains to her mother that she didn't want to tell her mom a story, but "she got out of her room" and well, you know, stuff happens when you go out into the world.
"Set him up!"
While mom is trying to get her son to tell the truth about hitting his brother with the iPad, dad is videotaping and is ruthless. He instructs his partner to "set him up," explain that his son tries "to go with what you're saying, because he thinks you're saying the right stuff he's supposed to say." Yep, that sounds about right.
"In our hair? On our face?"
I dare you not to laugh while you watch this video. Neither son will admit to getting the paint, although "big brother" claims that "little brother" built a set of stairs to the paint with blocks. Either way, they're both in big trouble, they're going to bed with no juice, and this is definitely not funny.
"You don't get to tell me what to do!"
And, of course, if all else fails, they'll just throw you some attitude. Hopefully, it's as cute as this kid's.
Image: David T. Koenig/YouTube
