Being in love can make you do crazy things. Heck, being in like can straight up throw you into a tizzy. Sometimes, though, being in a relationship makes you do weird things you’d never imagine you’d do in front of someone else — let alone with someone else in public. Popping pimples, invading personal space, becoming totally unaware of anyone else around you... it’s like suddenly that secret "single" behavior you’ve hidden away gets the spotlight because your partner is just So. Damn. Great. But it happens. Blame the effect love has on your body. Blame the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol (been there). Blame the comfort zone, the mood, the fact that you just wanna do you...
The truth is that you’re a grown-ass woman who can do what you want when you want, but sometimes couples are just plain gross. I've been married for a little over a year so I feel like I can, with certainty, tell you that the longer you're with someone, the quirkier you get as a couple. The more comfortable you are with your partner, the easier it is to let down your walls. It's all fun and games until, one day, your S.O. starts walking around with holes in their socks, throwing tissues on your bedroom floor because they have a cold. Just me? Well, here are six gross couple things we’ve all seen:
1. Excessive PDA
Listen up, there’s PDA and then there’s PDA that makes everyone around you beg, “OMG! PLS GET A ROOM.” Holding hands? Cool. Kissing? Go for it. Squeezing a butt cheek? GET IT. But please, I beg of you, leave anything that might actually require birth control for behind closed doors. Or, at the very least, follow these tips for better public sex so you're ready if/when the mood just strikes.
2. Your Body = Their Body
True story: I once witnessed a girl pick a lone booger out of her boyfriend’s nose. To be fair, she was doing him a favor, but it was nastyyyy. I’m even guilty of pulling a stray hair out of the middle of my husband’s forehead (what even??) while sitting at the bar because the light was *just* right. Can we all just agree that any picking, pulling, or popping should be done at home? Kthx.
3. Ignoring Friends
Unless you’re specifically on a date, don’t be that couple that only talks to each other or goes missing at the party. Hanging out with a bunch of your friends? Then actually hang with them! It’s normal to want to be with your partner 24/7 during the honeymoon phase, but there’s nothing worse than a couple with visors on.
4. Nonstop Inside Jokes
There's only so many times I can hear "you had to be there" or "sorry, inside joke" after sitting silently while someone hysterically laughs until I straight up pull out my phone and start checking Instagram. Just saying.
5. Crazy Fights
If you've ever witnessed — or, worse, been in the middle of — a couple seriously going at in public, I am so, so sorry. And I'm not talking about cute spats about who really took the trash out last. I'm talking screaming, red-faced, ugly cry-filled fights that just make you cringe. Yes, there's usually alcohol involved and, yes, the couple is probably just as (or more) uncomfortable as you.
6. Only Talk In “We”
Now this one I'm definitely guilty of. It's so easy to pull out the "we" when you're in a committed relationship, especially if you're spending most of your time with someone else. But it's so important to love yourself and remember to add a few "I's" in every once in a while because, well, the grossest thing you could possibly do is hate on or put yourself second.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.