Entertainment

How Much 'Full House' Is Too Much 'Full House'?

by Mary Grace Garis

With a nation in peak nostalgia mode and a reunion getting routinely updated, a lot of Full House fans are coming out of the woodwork. In fact, if you’re someone who is in earnest waiting on the edge of your seat for Fuller House to be available on Netflix, it’s fair to say you’ve watched a decent amount of the show in the past. But how much is too much Full House? I know, I know. It might not seem like such a thing is actually possible, but there are actually several signs that you watch too much Full House — and by "too much" I really just mean "a lot," because, seriously, it's not possible to go too far with this show.

Full House might have aired its finale years ago, but it had the kind of entertainment value and message that never truly fades. I still find myself humming the theme song to myself every now and then, and I'm literally in my 20s. My thought process goes like this: if you’re genuinely 300 percent invested in this series several years after it aired, you have to be a hardcore fan. So this one’s for you, Full House maniacs. It's a way to gauge if your Full House obsession is a little — much like the full house itself — bonkers.

1. You're Bummed That You Weren't Raised By Your Dad And Two Wacky Uncles As A Child

All you had was a regular childhood, what a drag!

2. You Can Tell When Mary-Kate Or Ashley Is Playing Michelle

To be honest, I can't even tell which is which these days, so props if you've picked up this life skill.

3. You Still Mourn The Untimely Death Of Papouli

You know, Jesse's Greek grandfather who we met on screen approximately twice.

4. You Packed Up And Moved To San Francisco To Find A Gigantic House To Raise A Family In

Only to wake up and find that San Fran's rental prices make New York real estate look vaguely affordable.

5. Seeing Bob Saget's Stand-Up Causes A Disturbing Break In Your Own Personal Reality

But he's supposed to be a wholesome dad in ill-fitting jeans! I don't get it.

6. As A Child You've Co-Opted More Than A Few Of The Gang's Catch Phrases

In fact, like a tic, it still sometimes comes out today. Have mercy!

7. You Believe Constant PDA Is Appropriate

And should be accompanied with either plenty of "wooooos!" or a hearty laugh track. Because it's either sexy or funny, obviously.

8. Gentle Piano Music Plays Every Time You Learn An Important Life Lesson

You know, in your head, as Brenda from HR explains that you can't just sucker punch your co-worker because they're "not really into reboots."

9. Likewise, You Pushed For Fuller House Way Before It Was A Twinkle In Stamos' Eye

Like, sometime in the mid 2000s when you ran out of ideas for your series of Jesse/Joey slash fiction.

10. You've Collected John Stamos Magazine Clippings Since The Late '80s

It freaks out your fiancé a bit, but he knew what he was getting himself into.

11. You're Also Making Jesse And The Rippers' Cover Of "Forever" The First Dance At Your Wedding

If they can reunite on Jimmy Fallon, they can reunite for your special day.

12. You Find Uncle Joey's Popeye Impression Hilarious

All right, I'm not sure if anyone's watched that much Full House...

Images: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (13)