Finally, it’s the start of the holiday season! But it’s not just any old turkey that has us dying to gather round the Thanksgiving table. In fact, I’d happily skip right over the cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes, because the real event for me is pie! Glorious pies! A dessert so emblematic of this festive season that our choice of it might be emblematic of us. Is it possible that all these years your favorite flaky tasty treat might be saying something about you? Besides, of course, that you have a bit of a sweet tooth. If we look to the stars and horoscopes to learn something about ourselves, why not look down at our plates?
All pies are delicious in their own special way. We each have a favorite, of course — that special one that turns Thanksgiving up to eleven. All summer our mouths have been watering, waiting for the ripening apples and pumpkin and pears. Oh my! Now, before you pick up that fork, take a second to think, are you a fun-loving partier who craves a slice of that maple bourbon pecan? Or perhaps, you like to keep things sweet and simple, with a classic slice of apple? By following our heart (aka stomachs) we all can learn a little something about ourselves!
Pumpkin Pie: The YOLO-er
Pumpkin flavored foods get a bad rap. Once September hits, being constantly inundated with the pumpkin lattes, muffins, and donuts is enough to turn anyone against that poor orange gourd. People assume pumpkin is basic, but I beg to differ. Pumpkin is a squash! This isn’t just another fruit pie. We get fruit all year, and the pumpkin pie lover wants to seize fall by the horns and ride it straight through winter. You live in the now! And just like pumpkin pie can be spiced up cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and nutmeg, the pumpkin pie lover is also happy to spice up their life. The person who chooses this pie will happily cut loose now and then, but nothing too crazy, of course. It’s just pumpkin.
Apple: The Sweetheart
Apple makes everyone happy. It’s a safe choice, and pretty darn hard to mess up. For those who choose apple as their fave, I hate to tell you, but you won’t be going sky diving any time soon. The apple eater is cautious. They like to stick to familiar soil. They have a small group of very close friends, and are pretty happy with their place in the world. Apple pie eaters are friendly and easy to love, that’s why they get invited to the party every year. It just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without apple pie.
Pecan: The Risk Taker
Pecan pie finally brings texture to the party. They are sweet and nutty (cue the puns!) and add some oomph to the Thanksgiving dessert table. If you choose this pie you are not afraid of a challenge, and you know high risk yields high rewards. You want more from your pie than the basic sweet fruit or custard. You want a hearty texture, you want something at once caramelized with deep developed flavors and a touch of salt! Many people aren’t always up for the challenge of pecan pie, it can get stuck in your teeth pretty badly. But nut lovers know this pie is definitely worth a trip to the dentist, and won’t settle for any less.
Lattice Crust: The Type-A
You are someone who expects the best and holds everyone else up to your (very high) standards. Your bed always has crisp folded hospital corners, and you can fold a napkin into a swan in five seconds flat. Your pie should be nothing short of perfection. Not only does the pie have to taste delicious — as your mom says, “We eat with our eyes first,” and you definitely believe that. Did you use a ruler to measure out those lattice crust strips? You bet your boots you did.
Sweet Potato: The Individual
Woah there, pumpkin pie’s evil twin, who invited you to Thanksgiving? Sweet Potatoes are one of the healthiest foods, and there is no sugar coating it (or molasses coating it), they are a root vegetable. Why would you choose that as your favorite pie? No, seriously, I’m asking you. Sweet potato pie lovers are used to the confused looks while they reach for a slice, and they know they don’t need to explain themselves. Those who choose sweet potato are individuals. You march to the beat of your own tuberous drummer. So go ahead and enjoy that pie — you most likely are the only one who will.
Chocolate Cream: The Hedonist
Chocolate is the food of love. And as you love to bring up to the only person who is around your age and also not related to you at the thanksgiving meal, it’s an aphrodisiac. Get it? You offer them another sumptuous slice of that velvety chocolate cream pie, and maybe even go so far as to feed them a bite or two of it, while making intense eye contact. You refill both your wine glasses and watch your guest chew the delicious rich pie. Chocolate pie has never failed you before, and you never go home alone.
Bourbon Apple: The Lazy One
Can you put booze in my pie? Sweet. I want that one.
Images: Giphy; Pixabay