6 Things To Know If You’ve Never Had An Orgasm

According to statistics, 10 percent of women have never had an orgasm. Ever. Not with a partner, not while masturbating, simply, not ever. But if this applies to you, know that the inability to orgasm aka anorgasmia does not mean all is lost. And, thankfully, the odds of eventually having one are in your favor. For many women, even those of us who have had orgasms, it’s not always easy. Plus, only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse.

Female sexuality is far more complicated than male sexuality, and it involves a bit more effort when it comes to achieving orgasms. Men have it easy in many ways, because, for starters, their genitals are out in the open, while our genitals are less in your face, so to speak. It also doesn’t help that we live in a society where the thought of women being sexual beings is still a foreign concept for some. This thinking can cause shame, especially for women who are trying to have an orgasm through masturbation. But there should be no shame, ever, pleasuring yourself and enjoying it!

For those of you who have never had an orgasm, don't worry. Here’s what you need to know.

1. There Is Nothing Wrong With You

Seriously! Just because you’ve never had an orgasm, doesn’t mean you’re broken in some way, your relationship is doomed, or that you/your partner are bad in bed. It just means that you fall into that 10 percent of women who have never climaxed and that’s not a bad thing. Sex isn't all about the orgasm.

2. Therapy Is An Option

As much as it might seem like a strange concept, there is therapy for women who can’t orgasm. Because orgasm dysfunction does exist there are sex therapists who specialize in teaching women to orgasm. For many women, their inability to orgasm is based on psychological aspects and not so much physical aspects, so that’s a relief.

3. Understand The Dilemma

As any professional will tell you, orgasms for most women are more mental than they are physical. Once you realize that’s part of the equation you can, hopefully, you can let go of any concerns that you have a physical disability or were born without the necessary DNA makeup to have orgasms. You might end up putting yourself even closer to reaching an orgasm.

4. It Could, Possibly, Be A Medical Condition

If therapy isn’t helping and your dreams of orgasms are still, well, nothing but dreams, then it might be time to get physically checked out by a doctor. A doctor can figure out what’s going on, like maybe it’s your meds that’s throwing things off or, perhaps, more than that. Thankfully, there are medications that can help you orgasm by either stimulating blood flow to the genitals, which is essential for orgasms, or creams that can increase your sensitivity level in and around your vagina.

5. Don’t Give Up

Since we’re fortunate enough that we live in 2015 and we can turn to doctors, sex therapists, or even Google to research how to orgasm, then let that give you some peace of mind. It might seem like you’re doomed to live a life void of orgasms forever, but that’s note necessarily the case. You never know what might change, either from a mental aspect for you or a great new invention or medicine by the professionals.

6. Don’t Believe The Hype

Yes, orgasms are great! But when it comes to sex, they don’t have to be everything. No matter what you see in movies or hear from your friends, don’t let yourself think your sex life is lacking just because you can’t orgasm. Great sex shouldn’t be focused on orgasms only anyway. They should be focused on the journey and the pleasure that comes with the process.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to make him last longer:

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