MMA champion Ronda Rousey is no stranger to controversy. Her polarizing us-vs-them brand of girl power recently surfaced yet again in a new Maxim sex column where she suggests that no woman should ever have to use sexual lubricant. Yes, Ronda Rousey says lube is bad because breaking out the Sliquid, KY, or Sutil means "you're being lazy."
Sexpert and erotica writer Rachel Kramer Bussel expertly deconstructed Rousey's limited view about sexuality in a piece for Salon, gathering commentary from other sex educators who roundly agree that lube-shaming is not a sex-positive approach to sexuality. Like Rousey's "do nothing bitches" campaign which was meant to be empowering, this lube-shaming statement was her way of saying, "hey dudes, get on your foreplay game." However, it only served to be divisive, and one more excuse to judge other women on how they're doing it (or not doing it) right.
Unfortunately, I can relate to where Rousey is coming from. As a teenager, I remember feeling highly superior to my other sexually active friends who carried around bottles of lube. I thought it meant that my lovers were better than their lovers for inspiring such tidal wave levels of wetness. However, as I got older and learned about the true wonders of lube, I realized how absolutely wrongheaded and judgey my opinions on the subject were. Here are six reasons that using lube doesn't mean you're having bad sex, because LUBE. RULES.
1. Every Woman's Vaginal Lubrication Is Different
Vagina lubrication changes over the course of your cycle, and over the course of a lifetime. These factors have nothing to do with the quality of your sexual activities. No amount of foreplay or stimulation is going to get you gushing if certain physical factors aren't at play, and there's no shame in that.
2. Penis Sizes Run The Gamut
Hey, so sometimes lube is really helpful when you're attempting to entertain a particularly massive member. Why be prideful and tear your vaginal walls to shreds just to prove a point?
3. Sex On-The-Go Can Require A Little Help
Having sex in public places is hella thrilling but you might not have the time for your partner to bring you to adequate levels of drippage before the cops, the flight attendant, or the lifeguard finds you. When it doubt, carry a packet of lube in your purse for instant, on-the-go grindage.
4. The Texture Of Lube Can Be A Turn-On
If you're using a high quality lube, sometimes the slick sensation of parts sliding past one another can be a turn on in itself. Even rubbing a squirt between your fingertips is a good way to get the juices flowing. A little imagination goes a long way...
5. Hello, Anal Sex
So I know you're all proud of being a juicy lady stud in the sack, Ronda, but have you ever tried anal sex without lube? Yeah...
6. Anxiety (And Alcohol) Happens
When some women are super nervous about a new hookup or have been drinking a lot, their levels of lubrication might not reach maximum wetness. Again, there's absolutely no shame in this, and the perfect time to break out the lube.
7. There Is No One Right Way To Have Sex
OK, there actually is. The one right way to have sex is consensually. But other than that, WTF do you care how else someone chooses to get off? Just as there are a multitude of positions and partners that some prefer and others find repellant, there are infinite pleasure tools at our disposal, and no one should tell you which one is right or wrong. That's on you to decide.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy (4)