While there will be those who will opt for the glitz, glamour, and celebrity of the Golden Globes, some of us, myself included, will bow out of the awards show at 9:59 p.m. and click over to HBO. Why? Because I’ve only been waiting some ten months for the new season of Girls. I’ve decided it’s the greatest thing in the whole wide world and my Sunday nights will revolve around it for the next twelve weeks. It’s a-maze, to quote Shoshanna.
For those of you who will be hosting parties for the Girls premiere, here are a few ideas to get you started. You may not live in Brooklyn and have three annoying (read: spoiled), but charming best friends, but you can pretend for the evening that you, too, do everything in multiples of eight.
Decorate (But don't necessarily clean)
To make your guests feel like they just stepped into Hannah’s Greenpoint apartment, keep things colorful, cozy, and charmingly disheveled. Depending on how you already maintain your place, this could mean a total overhaul or not lifting a finger. If you’re in the former group, a trip to a flea market or Urban Outfitters will do the trick.
Break out your thrift store best
While hosts of Golden Globe Awards parties will be donning cocktail dresses and the like, you should rock your favorite second-hand get-up. If you don’t own any thrift store goodies, then a long t-shirt will do. Hannah is the Pants-less Wonder after all, so why shouldn’t you be one, too, for the night? Get comfortable.
...And ask your guests to do the same
Or at least their version of their thrift store best which, for some, may mean no shirt à la Adam Sackler. But considering what your attire might be, we’re really setting this up to be one hell of a party.
Provide appropriate snacks
Bake a cake! Not only are you paying homage to Hannah and all her cake-eating ways, but cakes are super easy: throw ingredients into a bowl, mix, bake, let cool, then cover in a ridiculous colored frosting for pizzazz. Now you’re just one step away from the Hostess of the Year award.
...And of course beverages, too.
Let the fancy people of the world enjoy their amuse-bouche accompanied by champagne! You are not one of them! You are unique! Your friends buck the norm! This means you serve PBR! The drink of artsy-fartsy, one-of-a-kind champions who want all the things!
Plan a few games like...
You could have each person reenact his or her favorite Girls’ scene. You could do drugs and wear mesh tank tops. OK, don’t do that. You could talk about whether each of you is a Hannah, Jessa, Marnie or Shosh, but you’ve already done that hundreds of times. A new season calls for a new game…
Have everyone drink whenever Hannah says something selfish, Shosh invents a new word, Marnie insists that she’s “fine,” or Jessa expresses her apathy for a situation. You could drink every time Hannah bares her thighs or Adam bares his chest.
(You may want to double the amount of PBR you were originally planning to buy, if you go with this game. You’re gonna be dru-unk.)
Close out the night in proper Girls' fashion
You could actually end the night in any variety of Girls-related ways: someone getting hit by a truck as you complain to them about your weight, ending up at a party where one of you accidentally smokes crack, locking yourself in your bedroom to cut your own hair, etc…the sky’s the limit.
But if you really want to make this party one for the record books then you and your friends should find a hook-up for each of you, and indulge in the forever-awkward 20-something sex.
Yes, that’s how you do it, folks.