Ball lovers, rejoice! Brian Sloan, the mastermind behind the AutoBlow has created a scrotal beauty pageant to find out just what kind of sack has the most sex appeal. All are invited to submit their family jewels for cash prizes totaling $10,000, and the top three winners will have their balls 3-D printed and made into paperweights, doorstops, bookends, and other decorative items, which, Sloan thinks, a “small percentage of the public will find to be irresistible purchases.”
This competition comes on the heels of Sloan's recent vaginal beauty contest, which drew the ire of women across the Internet who suggested that judging disembodied vulvae based upon their perceived "beauty" is yet again perpetuating the idea of women as objects, designed for male consumption.
However, in a press release for the contest, it seems that Sloan is attempting to respond such criticisms by putting scrota on display in a similar manner so that they, too, can be objectified. Living in a patriarchal society means that these two actions are hardly equivalent, although that doesn't mean a ball beauty pageant isn't kinda hilarious on its own. Once the results are in, Sloan will commission a data scientist "to explore factors relating to perceptions of scrotal beauty as well as cultural preferences regarding scrotal appearance around the world."
If you know someone who's has the, um, balls to submit to this contest, all they have to do is take a shot of their package with a piece of paper in the photo that reads “Autoblow Balls Contest.” May the best scrotum win.
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Images: Balls Contest