7 Signs You're A Total Danny Tanner From 'Full House' On Thanksgiving
When Thanksgiving rolls around, what's your Turkey Day modus operandi? Do you pull a Joey Gladstone and bring a woodchuck puppet to the table? Or are you always the first person in to load up your plate, à la Steve Hale? Or do you spend the holiday rolling your eyes at everyone, not unlike Michelle Tanner? Or do you prefer to celebrate Thanksgiving by letting your friends and family know when they are being rude, Stephanie Tanner-style? Or are you a never-technically-invited-but-always-welcome Kimmy Gibbler? Or maybe, just maybe, your Turkey Day isn’t complete without the scent of Lemon Pledge wafting in the breeze. Maybe, just maybe, your Full House Thanksgiving doppelgänger is the Tanner family patriarch. Maybe, just maybe, you are the Danny T. of your T-Day festivities.
If you identify with at least one of the following statements, you are a total Danny Tanner on Thanksgiving. (And if you identify with all of the statements below, you are not just like Danny Tanner. Frankly, if you were to say "Yes, all of these things describe me to a T," I'd assume you must be fictional character Danny Tanner. That's the most logical conclusion, yeah?)
1. You Clean The House The Night Before And The Morning Of
The holiday season can be a stressful time of year, but you know the surefire way to soothe your nerves: cleaning the house. There's just something about scrubbing the grout between the kitchen counter tiles that always brings you a sense of calm. As a wise morning talk show host once said, "Clean is good, dirt is bad."
2. If Anything Goes Wrong With The Pumpkin Pie/Sweet Potatoes/Green Bean Casserole/Turkey, You Always Figure Out A Solution
If that means serving up charred pieces of turkey meat, so be it. The show must go on. The feasting will continue. No burnt bird will derail your Thanksgiving Day.
3. You Never Show Up To Dinner Without At Least One Inspirational Speech In Your Back Pocket
Someone knocks over the gravy boat? Well, you have the perfect, heartfelt anecdote about the time your beloved car rolled right into the San Francisco Bay and then morphed into a swamp monster. And once the story is over, you’re ready to dole out the hugs.
4. Your Idea Of A Proper Host Gift Is A Bouquet…
…of cleaning supplies
5. You Cannot Relax Until The Dishes Are Done
The sight of the sink piled up with filthy dishes makes you cringe, and thought of the filthy dishes sitting in their filth until the end of the evening makes you cringe even harder. So, while everyone else watches football, you happily scour the pans and serving platters. And no, you sincerely do not mind.
6. You Bring At Least One Tide Pen To The Dinner Table
Someone gets cranberry sauce on their white blouse? You're right there, Tide pen in hand.
(Yeah, I realize Tide To Go Pens didn't exist when Full Housewas on the air. However, if the Tide pens did exist in the late '80s/early ‘90s, you know Danny Tanner would've bought ‘em in bulk.)
7. And No Matter How Full Your Stomach Feels After T-Day Dinner…
…Your button-down shirt remains tucked into your belted jeans.