9 Sex Positions That Will Help You Come Out Of Your Shell

Whether you're a beginner or consider yourself a sexpert, everyone can benefit from trying sex positions that help them open up in new ways once in a while. As liberating and empowering as sex can be, there's no denying that we all have certain insecurities that we need to confront. There's nothing wrong with being a little shy in bed; it doesn't mean you're "not good" at sex.

When I was first exploring my sexuality, the most difficult thing for me was definitely learning to be vocal, to speak up about what felt good, and to get comfortable with dirty talk. Although I have always been talkative and outgoing, for some reason, when I got naked and between the sheets, I found myself second-guessing everything that came out of my mouth. Did I sound dumb? Inexperienced? Were my moans hot, or just annoying?

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Not everyone has the same insecurities, though. Maybe, like me, you're shy about being vocal. Or maybe you're a little wary of putting your body on full display. Depending on what exactly makes you blush, there can be more than one way to come out of your sexual shell. Whatever your situation, here are nine positions to help you open up and try something new — and hopefully learn something about yourself in the process. (And keep in mind that these positions work with two women as well!)

If You Want To Be More Vocal

1. Standing

Because this can be a little hard to maneuver, it requires good communication from both your and your partner. As a short person, I can attest that having sex while standing isn't always possible. But if you're vocal and can help guide your partner, then the two of you can figure out a way to make this work. And since it's a physically demanding position, you'll need to feel comfortable speaking up when you're ready to switch into a more manageable (read: laziness-friendly) position.

2. Modified Doggy

Although your face will probably be in a pillow or against the bed, you'll certainly be more vocal during modified doggy. Because of the angle, your partner can get super deep, meaning you're more than likely going to be doing a lot of moaning and/or screaming. This position is ideal for easing into being vocal. You're facedown, and not looking into your partner's eyes, so it's easier to say when things feel really good without fear of judgment.

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3. Woman On Top

When you're the one in control and setting the pace, it's necessary to be more vocal, because it helps you make sure what you're doing feels good for your partner, not just you. Although it sounds simple, asking "Does that feel good?" while you're on top can make all the difference, and opens the door for you and your partner to start a sexy dialogue about touches, kisses, and motions that get you both hot. Plus, you can lean down against your partner's chest and whisper/moan into his ear, which is a less awkward but incredibly sexy way to get vocal.

If You Want To Get Comfortable Showing Your Body

1. Mutual Masturbation


The easiest way to become comfortable with your body is to explore it on your own. Although solo masturbation is wonderful, if you want to take it to the next level, masturbate with a partner. The two of you will be able to look at each other's bodies in a new, exciting way, while learning what the other person needs to reach orgasm. It's fun to focus on your own pleasure, with the added bonus of watching your partner turn themselves on.

2. Reverse Cowgirl

If I'm being honest, this is a position that took me a while to feel comfortable doing, despite the fact that I am not insecure about my body. I think the idea of a guy getting such a, umm, detailed view of my butt made me a little weirded out (I feel that my boobs are slightly more impressive). It's definitely a visually appealing position for men, though, and allows them to look at your body from a different angle. If you haven't, give it a try. And don't be worried about the view — I guarantee it looks good.

3. The Bridge

Speaking of new, exciting angles. This position definitely offers a unique view of your awesome bod. It requires a little more flexibility and strength, but if you're up for it, it will totally pay off. Your partner will have an unobscured view of your whole front side, and will still be able to see your O-face, too. Bonus: Your back will be arched, making your stomach look flatter and your boobs perkier!

If You Want More Intimacy

1. Spooning

What's more intimate than basically cuddle-f*cking your partner? This position is great for making you and your partner feel super cozy and close to each other, and is also excellent for nipple stimulation and clitoris touching. While it's perfectly fine if you prefer rough from-behind sex, it can be a nice exercise in building intimacy to switch things up and try this passionate, gentler position.

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2. Sitting

In this position, you're literally wrapped around your partner like a sexier, human version of a spider monkey. There's something incredibly sexy and intimate about being chest-to-chest with your partner, and it's a great position for passionate kissing and locking eyes. It's like a bear hug, but more naked and with 100 percent more orgasms.

3. Modified Missionary

To all the missionary haters: You don't know what you're missing. This position has a reputation for being boring or unimaginative, but I personally think there's something irreplaceably intimate and natural-feeling about it. If you want to up the ante, wrap your legs around your partner's hips to bring him in even closer, and you can enjoy a steamy makeout session while you have sex.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to make him last longer:

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