Happy Birthday to 'Housewives' Yolanda & Kyle!

Last Saturday, not one, but TWO Real Housewives of Beverly Hills celebrated their births! On Jan. 11, Yolanda Foster turned 50 and Kyle Richards turned 45. Jeez, I'd love to look as good as either them when I'm around that age/ever. Foster and Richards did not party together, but the Housewives costars did wish each other happy birthdays via Twitter. Aw. As much as I love a feud, it's always great when Housewives tweet nicely at each other. Both birthday gals posted pics of their respective Jan. 11 shenanigans: Richards went to Los Angeles burlesque club Bootsy Bellows with husband Mauricio Umansky and others, whereas Foster's day included a surprise visit from her mom and a Cody Simpson concert.

No, their days didn't overlap. And that's okay. It's their birthday, they don't have to hang out with another Housewife if they don't want to.

BUT! What if they woke up Monday morning and thought, It wouldn't have been so bad to have had a joint birthday party? Well, don't worry! Belated parties are totally allowed. AND! I just so happen to have all of the party planning covered. Yep. I brainstormed a Richards/Foster joint party. All of the hard work is done! The theme would be A Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Party. A mega-party inspired by past Real Housewives of Beverly Hills parties. Because meta is always bettah.

Here's What the Yolanda/Kyle Birthday Party Would Include:

  • It'd be at SUR because everyone knows that's THE place to hold a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills event.
  • There would be prop video cameras pretending to film the occasion.
  • It'd be a Magical Mad Hatter-themed tea party, just like Kennedy Armstrong's extravagant fourth birthday.
  • David Foster would perform throughout the evening. There would be absolutely no singing along.
  • Ace Young would also perform throughout the evening. No one would get a pet horse (too big of an expense), but we'd supply everyone with cowboy hats.
  • Allison DuBois the psychic would be there. I'd be sure to have an e-cigarette ready and waiting for her.
  • Everyone would have to wear white. No, it wouldn't take take the place of Richards' Annual White Party, but it'd pay homage to her yearly tradition.
  • Yes, it'd be at SUR, but Fatburger would cater some of the food, à la Richards' White Party!
  • There'd be place cards at every place setting. But I'd ask Foster to draw hearts on all of the cards this time around, not just some. Lesson: learned.

Happy birthday, Yolanda and Kyle! Let me know if you want to go through with the party. Never too late!