Thanksgiving is so close I can smell the turkey, so what better way to celebrate than with Thanksgiving quotes from all your favorite TV shows? Because while some of us are celebrating with delicious food and friends and family who are near and dear to our hearts, others may be looking toward their Turkey Day with more dread than anything else. So the next time your uncle Hank takes a big slug of red wine and opens his mouth to start railing about ISIS again, sneak your phone out under the table, take a peek at this post, and mentally replace his words with those of one of your favorite characters from a show like Friends or Gilmore Girls. Somebody who knows how to do Thanksgiving right.
Or hey, maybe you're having a great Thanksgiving, but you just want to take a walk down memory lane, reliving the funniest moments from some of the best television shows out there. We take all comers here — this holiday is about giving thanks, sharing love, and gravy for days, after all, so unbutton that top button on your pants, and take a gander at these 14 quotes from past and present shows that we couldn't be more thankful for. Enjoy!
Chandler: "So, when's the big game gonna start?"Phoebe: "You don't have to do that, Ross and Joey aren't here — you can watch the parade."
2. New Girl
Schmidt: "I wanna let you know up front that I have some control issues in the kitchen. So if I'm gonna do this, I'm cooking the whole meal. I don't want you touching anything. And I don't want to hear Schmidt, Schmidt, you're using too much tarragon."Jess: "You will never hear that from me."
"Here I am, 5:00 in the morning, stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird's butt." —Roseanne Conner
4. How I Met Your Mother
"The Thankstini. A fun and delicious new novelty drink I just invented. Cranberry juice, potato vodka, and a bouillon cube. Tastes just like a turkey dinner." —Barney Stinson
5. Full House
"Okay, who wants white meat? Scratch that, we have dark meat or really dark meat." —Danny Tanner
"When you two are done using that turkey as a courtship device, can you put it in the oven?" —Kurt Hummel
7. That 70s Show
"Hey, turkey boy, wanna show me your giblets?" —Kitty Forman
8. All In The Family
Guest: "I'm gonna have a leg, anybody else want a leg?"Archie Bunker: "No legs for me; you can never tell where a bird's been walkin'."
9. Gilmore Girls
"It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, our finest hour." —Lorelai Gilmore
10. Bob's Burgers
"Every year I try and tell you guys that no one really sings Thanksgiving songs." —Bob Belcher
11. The O.C.
"Do you know what I dream about when I dream about Thanksgiving, which is often? I dream about eating so much deliciousness that all the blood and I pass out at the table. Please don't deny me that." —Seth Cohen
12. The West Wing
C.J. Cregg: "They sent me two turkeys. The more photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children's zoo. The runner-up gets eaten."President Jed Bartlet: "If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch."
13. Modern Family
"I did not just cook for eight hours so you people could run off to prove some asinine point that's only gonna make half of us feel bad." —Claire Dunphy
14. The Big Bang Theory
Amy Farrah Fowler: "Are you honestly comparing going to Thanksgiving dinner at Mrs. Wolowitz's house to one of the worst tragedies in human history?"Sheldon Cooper: "Yes."
How are you feeling now? Thankful to be surrounded by friends and family both real and not-so-real? Great, then it worked! Happy Thanksgiving to all, especially the fictional characters who make it survivable!
Images: NBC; giphy (14)