What is it about confidence that get under peoples' skin? If you feel like you're always saying sorry for your accomplishments and moments of self-love, don't do it! Stop right now! There are so many wonderful reasons why you should never apologize for your confidence.
A few years ago, a study was published that confirmed what we'd all already noticed: Women apologize more than men. And it wasn't that men were reluctant to say sorry; in fact, men and women had the same rates of apologizing when they felt that they'd done something wrong. Men just didn't think they'd done anything wrong a whole lot more frequently than women.
Sure, there's a line between confident babes and braggarts. I'll be the first to admit that people gloating about themselves are obnoxious, particularly because that tendency is often accompanied by a competitiveness that says, "If you're happy I can't be." But that constant side-eyeing, the constant measuring up and comparing, that's not confidence. In fact, it's anything but.
To write this article, I consulted my besties because, honestly, I struggle with not apologizing for confidence. And that is what's so wonderful about our friendship. We support, we uplift. This article is as much about confidence as it is a love letter to positive relationships, especially mine.
So listen up. You should never apologize for your confidence because:
1. It Weeds Out Toxic Humans In Your Life
Being openly, unabashedly confident can reveal who will be happy about your accomplishments, and who secretly revels in your struggles. Dump the latter. For real. You don't need that toxic BS in your life. A few years ago, Ann Friedman wrote about Shine Theory for New York Magazine, and it has since evolved into an all-encompassing lifestyle of symbiotic female friendship. Support your friends. If you shine, I shine.
2. Apologizing For It Minimizes Your Accomplishments
You know where that hurts you the most? Job interviews. Your career. Self-deprecation is a great way to sabotage yourself when asking for a raise or applying for a higher position. Don't do that to yourself!
3. Life Is Too Damn Short
Life is too short to always feel bad. To always be checking your levels of confidence. Aren't you tired? Think of all the things you could be doing right now if you could just eliminate all that self-hate. Be happy. Be proud. Shine. Oftentimes we are the biggest obstructors of our own happiness. Let yourself enjoy yourself.
4. You Deserve The Recognition
Even for little things. Even for getting up in the morning. Know that you are enough, you sweet and tough and brilliant babes. You have always been enough. Keep it up.