Well, it finally happened: On Monday night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Kristen and James broke up. Granted, this storyline didn’t come as a shock; James and Kristen announced their split back in September, and new couple James and Lala have not concealed their relationship status. However, it wasn't until I watched Monday's ep that I realized how little time elapsed before James moved on from Kristen. Less than one day before he and Kristen officially broke up in the SUR parking lot, James not only made out with Lala, but also asked her out to dinner. Like, the dude wasted negative time.
But the young DJ wasn't the only one scheming this week. When Jax found out that James had cheated on Kristen with Lala, his eyes widened. And then, his eyes began to twinkle. I knew what that look meant: He just threw a new batch of shenanigans into the ol' crockpot and cranked the dial to HIGH. What's he up to now? I wondered. What mischief will Jax get into this time?
Jax, saint that he is, promptly brought Kristen up to speed on the James/Lala make out. Fresh off of the breakup, the already heartbroken Kristen was none too pleased with this development.
Why did Jax wedge himself into the middle of this love triangle? What's in it for him? Sure, he was into Lala, sure, he hoped his interference might derail her budding relationship with James, but above all, the guy can’t resist an opportunity to stir the Sexy Unique Pot. And holy Rumpy Pumpy, was this ever an opportunity.
Jax, saint that he is part two, orchestrated a devious get-together at a bar. The guest list: Katie, Scheana, Faith, Lala, James, Jax… and Kristen. For those at home keeping score:
- James smooched Lala before he ended things with Kristen.
- James invited Lala out on a date before he ended things with Kristen.
- The Kristen and James split was the opposite of amicable.
- Thanks to Jax, Kristen knows James cheated on her with Lala.
- Jax knows that if there’s one person on the Pump Rules roster who will not let a cheater go without a fight, it’s Kristen.
- Not one week after the Kristen and James breakup, Jax ensured Kristen, James, and Lala wound up in the same room.
- Not one week after the Kristen and James breakup, Jax ensured Kristen, James, and Lala wound up in the same room... and plied them with liquor.
It looked like a true recipe for disaster. And that was exactly what it ended up being: Kristen told Lala that James had called her derogatory names behind her back; in a talking head, Lala said she assumed James said those rude things to throw Kristen off the scent of James and Lala's budding relaysh; Lala told James she didn't appreciate his dragging her name in front of the other Pumpers; James yelled at Lala; James called Lala "a basic b**tch" for listening to Kristen; Scheana yelled at James for calling Lala a b**tch; more yelling ensued; Kristen and Jax smiled as they sipped their cocktails and watched the the madness continue to unfold.
Hey, Jax "Marauder's Map" Taylor? Mischief managed.