Listen, y'all, you best appreciate this gift guide, because honesty hour: picking out the best Christmas gifts for Harry Potter fans was basically like hitting my bank account with an Unforgivable Curse. Do I want everything on this list? Yes. But do I need everything on it? Yes, duh, absolutely. And while it might mean living for several months in the Shrieking Shack while I scrounge up all the money that was supposed to pay rent, it will be worth it when I end up being the smuggest Potterhead this holiday season.
If you're feeling extra benevolent this year, I suppose you could use this gift guide as a way to surprise your fellow Harry Potter fans. But if you, like me, are the Horace Slughorn of your friend group, then just consider this a guide of all the things you should buy yourself — after all, you've been hella thoughtful this year. And you're totally going to finish holiday shopping for other people at some point in time, and will deserve to be rewarded. What better way to do that than by buying yourself enough Potter swag to make your 11-year-old self cry from retroactive jealousy? No worries, guys, I've got your collective backs. Here are all the best Potter-themed gifts you can buy:
Well, somebody's gotta rebuild after the whole ... well ... (Too soon?)
It's no Spell-Checking Quill from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, but it's handsome enough that you can forgive it.
Just, y'know. Do a quick Horcrux check before you write anything too incriminating, K?
These are too classy for your eyes. Good thing now you'll have a second pair.
Why count sheep when you can count your faves instead?
So you can pretend you have magic powers AND artistic talent at the SAME TIME!!
So you can accidentally burst into nostalgic tears every time you look into your lap, LIKE AN ADULT.
Keep your shiny new sedan and money to pay off our student loans, Santa. We have PRIORITIES.
The solemn swear that you're up to no good is already implied.
A beautiful union of the the Magical and Muggle worlds, all in one endless game that is sure to end with your cousin hexing your hotel off the map.
The Muggle world is great, but ... bye, y'all.
So when Arthur Weasley geeks out at your ~Muggle technology~, you can impress him by supporting his daughter's team. REPRESENT.
For every Hermione Granger in the world, there is a Ron Weasley to clap back at.
14. Dobby Wall Decor
I think we'd all be hard-pressed to find a declaration of love more intense than this.
For the inevitable back-to-back Christmas Harry Potter and Home Alone marathons.
DON'T FORGET THE TRICK STEP.
Time to get Potter turnt up in here.
Rosmerta's butterbeer brewing game is stronger than all of ours, let's be real.
19. S.P.E.W. Mug
Be the Hermione of everything you do, including and not limited to jacking yourself up with caffeine.
For the Crumpled Horn Snorkack fan in your life.
21. Firebolt Shirt
Harry James Potter as your BFF and Quidditch Captain not included.
Keep track of all the days that have passed since your Hogwarts letter was supposed to come!! (Help.)
Now all your fellow Gryffindors, Slytherins, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws can get their ugly sweater swag on together in the common room. Also, can we talk about how pleased Dobby would be to get this for Christmas? (Can we just talk about Dobby all the time? MY HEART.)
The union of the two holiest things on this planet: the Marauders, and lactose.
Gryffindors — brave of heart, sweet-smelling of butt.
They say your Patronus only changes in circumstances of true love ... and who wouldn't love a dude who is rolling in free candy?
For when you're in a blizzard with a wizard or snuggling a Muggle.
The only cookies Santa really wants this year, TBH.
Snug as a Muggle in a rug.
AND A DOBBY NEW YEAR.
From Levi-OOHHH-saaa to levi-OTP. <3.
Images: Rosanne Salvatore/Bustle; Courtesy of Brands