You know what sounds really fun? A girl’s spa weekend at a fancy resort with fireplaces, lots of wine and indulgent food. You know what doesn’t sound really fun? Going on a weekend where it’s themed ‘For Couples and Lovers.’ When faced with the opportunity to get away with one of my single friends, Kathryn, to Mohonk Mountain Resort in New Paltz, NY, I was eager to book the trip. But when I figured out it was going to be couple-themed, I hesitated: surely, as a somewhat bitter, somewhat annoyed at all people in love, single lady — how in the world would I survive seeing all of the romantic fanfare and actually enjoy myself?
It was in that moment that I took a step back, took a breath and (metaphorically) slapped myself. Even as a smart, successful and overall pretty damn happy 27-year-old, there’s admittedly some things on my bucket list that I’ve been saving for my ‘future husband.’
It’s lame, sure. But in my head, there were certain events, experiences and adventures that I really wanted to share with a spouse or at the very least, a boyfriend, instead of doing them on my own or with a friend. Four years of being single later, and frankly, I’m tired of waiting for my coupled-up life to begin before I do the things that I really want to do.
So, I’m not. I booked that weekend at the spa resort heaven, and honestly, seeing the couples wasn’t terrible. It was inspiring. (Plus, when there is a fireplace in your room and an outdoor hot tub, who can really complain, right?).
Here are the things I’m no longer waiting on my future significant other to do:
I book trips all the time, often without anyone to go with. Eventually, my friends (or my mom) decide to join, but I’m not afraid to travel alone. There’s so much world to see, and why would I wait to see Italy or Greece or any other place that’s ‘seemingly’ romantic before I’m coupled up. I wouldn’t. And I don’t.
2. To Buy A House
Though I live in New York, I’m saving for a house I don’t have yet. Should I reach the point where I’m ready to leave and move to the country (or the suburbs) — it’s nice knowing my nest egg could be for the dreams I have, not for the partner and the marriage.
3. To Have Incredible Sex
It took me a while to be really comfortable with my sexuality. Blame it on my Southern upbringing, but I didn’t really let myself enjoy casual sex until I finally had a friends-with-benefits that knocked my panties off. While I look forward to loving sex with someone I’m in love with, why should orgasms wait until a ring?
4. To Feel Good About Myself
Mama always said to fall in love with anyone — and have it be a healthy relationship —you should fall in love with yourself first. She’s right —and frankly, I can’t remember the last time a man made me feel truly beautiful. But I can remember the last time I felt beautiful and told myself as much: a few hours ago.
5. Invest In Good Lingerie
Do I love wearing a nice lacy, silk two-piece set and showing it off for someone I’m crazy about, watching their eyes get huge as they explores my body? Absolutely. Do I like a sexy set, even sans partner? Yep.
6. Pay For My Own Fancy Dinner (And My Own Everything)
While some ladies might have gone to college to get their Mrs. degree, I went for my journalism degree and I’ve never considered relying on a someone else for my meals, my apartment or anything. Even when I do meet my husband, I’ll still want my own banking account. I like treating myself — I don’t need anyone else to front the bill.
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