Faux "Grammys" For For Adele, One Direction, & Justin Bieber That Would Have Kept Them From Feeling Snubbed
If awards made everyone happy, then there’d really be no point in having them, right? Still, that attitude isn’t going to satisfy the fans of artists who were among the Grammys' most notable snubs this year. On Monday morning, the nominations for the 58th Annual Grammy Awards were announced, and the disgruntled took to social media to express their disappointment over the names that weren’t called. The Grammys have the complex (and some might say impossible) job of encapsulating the year in music across the entire industry. Nominations tend to be a mix of popular, mainstream acts and more obscure, independent work. Regarding the former category, there were rumblings that Justin Bieber, Adele, and One Direction might receive a nod or two each this year. Unfortunately for Bieliebers, Directioners, and whatever I’m supposed to call Adele fans (the human race?), those three acts came up with just one measly Grammy nomination between them. That’s where Bustle comes in.
There may not have been room to award Bieber, Adele, or One Direction in any of the Grammys traditional categories, but does that mean they aren’t worthy of some recognition? To right this wrong, Bustle has created our own special, imaginary Grammy award races that Adele and the boys would no doubt run away with. So, with no further ado, I would like to award Justin Bieber, Adele, and One Direction with the following Should-Be Grammys. May I have the envelope, please?
Bieber is the only member of the Snub Club to be included in a category this year. Along with mega-producers Diplo and Skrillex, he's nominated for Best Dance Recording for their trippy club track "Where Are Ü Now?" His album Purpose missed the cut-off for eligibility, but in this fantasy world, he pulls the Coolest Collaborations award for other tracks with artists like Halsey, Big Sean, and Nas.
Best Puberty Recovery
It's no secret that, like many artists who are thrust into fame at a young age, Bieber hit a personal rough patch. Though he wasn't out of the spotlight for long, the singer's resurgence can still be called a "comeback" since a lot of haters had already counted him out.
Excellence In Slow Jams
Who'd have guessed the pint-sized R&B phenom whose early singles dominated middle school dances would someday be the go-to artist for sexy, chill nights in?
Best Music To Drink Alone To
Adele makes me nostalgic for relationships I've never even been in, and I don't think I'm alone in that. 25 was also released too late to be considered by the real Academy this year, but "Hello" and a magnum bottle of red wine would win this Should-Be Grammy easily. (Also, look for 25 to dominate in the next cycle!)
Star Who's Most Like Us Award
Adele wins hearts because she's an angelic chanteuse and also a huge goofball, who's just as starstruck by her celebrity peers as you or I would be.
The Only Artist You & Your Mom Agree On Award
Adele, you've diffused many a fight about road trip tunes. Thanks for being you.
One Direction have steadily developed from a bouncy pop act with reality show origins to a polished and grown-up pop-rock outfit. Their newest effort Made In The A.M. didn't make the cut this year, but 2014's Four was in the running. The boys didn't receive any nominations for that album, but it still stands head and shoulders over their earlier releases in terms of songwriting, production value, and vocals.
One Direction went off to space with the help of real NASA tech in the video for "Drag Me Down," the lead single off of MITAM. It's a total jam, with the added benefit of exposing their largely young and female fanbase to potential careers in science, engineering, and math. Also, they're cute.
Most Prophetic Album Title
Four is One Direction's fourth studio album, but did they suspect that they'd be a four soon after its release as well? It's the last album that'll include the vocals of one Zayn Malik, who may be vying for some solo Grammys of his own next year.
Congratulations on your Should-Be Grammys, all! They're just as good as the real thing, right?
Images: Giphy (9)