How To Talk Dirty Without Feeling Silly

I am a big fan of dirty talk during sex, depending on the person I'm with. No matter what, I like some noise or talking (am I the only one who finds silent sex incredibly uncomfortable?!), But what's being said, or moaned, is very much shaped by who I am having sex with, my dynamic with them, and just their personality. But there's always some type of noise. There has to be something, or else it's just squeaky springs and your roommate's music (WHY ALWAYS TAYLOR SWIFT WHEN I'M TRYING TO DO THE SEX, SUZ?! WHY!?).

But if dirty talking lines escape you, don't fear. A lot of people find it awkward. They can just seize up a little bit and can't say anything when they're put up the spot. Or suddenly everything escapes them and they just end up begin really self-conscious about whatever they say. That's totally normal.

Here's the thing: most dirty talk sounds completely ridiculous outside of the bedroom, but at the time it's totally hot. Your threshold for embarrassment is lowered. So if you're worried you're going to sound a little stupid, don't be, if you're in the moment and caught up in the swing of things, it'll be just fine. And we've all said silly things before, so even if you put your foot in your mouth, there's no need to worry. You're in good company.

If you're thinking of dipping your toe in the talking dirty pool, here are some things that you can say with out feeling silly:

1. "That Feels Amazing."

It's simple and effective. Saying that something feels amazing/great/so good/whatever is a great way to ease into dirty talk. Because you're not saying anything dirty, just commenting on the sex. Plus, it'll get you used to talking in bed. The other benefit is it encourages your partner, letting them know what's working and what they should do more of.

2. "Oh My God."

A classic. It's just a way of saying "Holy crap this feels so good that I can't even begin to describe it so I'm just going to use a filler". It let's them know you're getting carried away, which is really sexy.

3. "F*ck."

A lot of dirty talk is, well, dirty, so you should probably get on board with a little swearing. If you're not ready to jump full out into explicitly descriptions of what you're doing, start with a little swearing. It's nice to warm up with, because one word does the trick."F*ck" is probably most people's go-to, although you'll hear "oh sh*t" occasionally.

Not everything works— a friend told me about a girl who kept saying "YOU D*CKHEAD" during sex, which doesn't sound particularly sexy to me, but the occasional "f*ck" should do the trick. Then you can work the swearing into other areas, if that's what you're into. If not, no worries.

4. "I'm Going To Come."

Some people effing love this. Because for some people, the biggest turn on is getting the other person off, right? So when you let them know that they're getting you there, it's really sexy for them. But also it's a good alert, because it let's them know to keep doing exactly what they're doing, rather than switching to something different when you're almost there.

5. "You Feel So Good."

If you're easily embarrassed, sometimes you may not want to reference exactly what's happening. In that case, giving a compliment is a lot easier. You're not talking about you, and you're giving your partner a boost. It's a win-win.

6. "I Can't Wait To..."

Telling somebody what you want to do them is almost always a winner. It can be as explicit or as tame as you want, so it's a good way tease your way in. And letting them know what turns you on will be a massive turn on for them.

7. "I Love It When You..."

These words should be your dirty talk starter kit. It combines all of the above— it's a compliment, it's not about you, it can be really, really dirty or really innocent, it can have expletives or not, and it gives your partner insight into what gets you off. If you're not sure how to get started, just fill in the end of this sentence and remember there's no need to be self-conscious.

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