If you're single and looking, how often do you think about whether you're really ready to be in a relationship? Oftentimes, when we're looking for a potential partner, we spend a lot of time focusing on the qualities we want our partner to have. Is he/she a caring individual, willing to talk things out when you hit rough patches? Will he/she be your biggest cheerleader when you feel like crap and don't want to get out of bed? And most importantly, does he/she enjoy binge-watching and eating pizza as much as you do? Will he/she save you the last slice?
It's important to take the time to learn someone's character traits and how they could function in a relationship, but it's equally as important to know what you're bringing to the table, too. It's a wonderful thing if you're able to find that special someone who understands your thoughts with just a glance, but if you're closed off emotionally and not willing to make sacrifices, your relationship is going to be very one-sided. So how can you tell you're probably going to be a good partner in your next relationship? You'd probably have a few of these nine qualities.
1. Your Communication Skills Are Impeccable
The mark of any good relationship that can withstand even the worst of circumstances is great communication skills. If you're the type of person willing to voice your concerns and talk openly with your partner in a calm and understanding way, you're already number 1 partner material. Not only will your communication skills help you guys beyond your darker moments, it'll show your partner just how much you care and that you're willing to support them regardless of circumstances.
2. Your Listening Skills Are On-Point, Too
It's one thing to be a good talker, but you have to be a a good listener too. A good communicator knows that conversations shouldn't be dominated by his/her own concerns. Take the time to listen to what your partner has to say, even if you're not the biggest fan of what they're saying.
Also, great listening skills can help your partner feel validated and less insecure about sharing something they often don't talk about. If your partner knows you're listening, they'll automatically feel a greater willingness to be open with you.
3. You're Comfortable With Who You Are
You know that totally cliché and overused saying that before you let someone love you, you have to love yourself? Well, it's definitely true but I am going to clarify it just a bit. Confidence in who you are is definitely attractive and will get you noticed, but being comfortable in your own skin goes beyond strutting your stuff down the street, Lady Marmalade. Accepting yourself for the qualities you like and those you're not so happy with is key to truly being comfortable with who you are. And once you accept that you're not at “I woke up like this,” Beyonce status, you'll be more willing to share all aspects of yourself with another person.
4. You're Ready To Open Yourself Up To Someone
You can search for the perfect partner all you want, but if you're not ready to be open about who you are, not much of a relationship is going to come of that. If you're not actually ready to let yourself be vulnerable with someone, even when it's the most difficult for you to do, you're probably not ready to be someone's partner in crime. On the other hand, if you're willing to let someone in and see those sides of you that you often don't show the world, then you're going to make for an amazing S.O..
5. Fights Suck, But You Know How To Get Through Them
Fighting isn't exactly a science but there are ways to navigate them so that they do a little less damage to your relationship. While you might lose your cool when you get heated with someone (as we all do from time to time) you're ready and willing to admit fault when fault is yours. On top of that, you strike a balance between listening to someone else's perspective and trying to understand where they're coming from. You're not always going to agree, so being able to argue in a diplomatic way that won't get so heated will make the inevitable a whole lot easier.
Most importantly, you're not one to hold grudges. If your partner apologizes for something they've done, and you say you forgive them, you should forgive them. Bringing up that thing they did that really pissed you off in a fight months later could be a ticking time bomb.
6. You Can Go With The Flow
I'll admit it, even I have an insanely difficult time doing this but if you can take each day as it comes, you're in pretty good shape for a relationship. Changing your status from “I” to “We” is an unpredictable world of emotional ebbs and flows, but if you can learn to ride the train rather than trying to be the conductor, you'll be in a great place to deal with some of the harder aspects of relationships.
OK, I'll stop with the cliched analogies now, I promise.
7. You Have Healthy Views Around Sex
There have been plenty of studies centered on sex in relationships, finding that couples who are open to having sex frequently usually have better partnerships. There's really no formula for how many times you should be having sex — it varies from person to person and relationship to relationship. If you're open to exploring things sexually, and sharing your fantasies with your partner, you'll keep things interesting way beyond the honeymoon phase.
That being said, having a healthy sexual appetite in a relationship should be something that you, and only you, define. Never feel that any sex related act should be done out of an obligation for your relationship. Healthy sexual relationships always stem from consensual acts by two partners, and build off of open and constant communication. Nothing should ever be forced.
8. You're Supportive
If you're the kind of friend whose always there to cheer up your besties and show them how amazing they are, you're going to make an amazing partner. Being able to show someone you believe in them, no matter what the occasion, is one of the best qualities in a partner; your partner will feel automatically and intensely loved in a way that will lead to long-lasting connection.
9. You're Open To Love, But Independent As Well
A great partner can strike a balance between retaining their individuality and opening themselves up to loving someone else. Relationships do mean sacrificing some of your needs for that other person, but it doesn't have to mean you lose yourself in the process. Keeping your independence by allowing yourself to still explore your hobbies and make time for your friends outside of your relationship will keep you grounded and prevent you from forgetting you're not a perpetual twosome.
That being said, you're still on board for opening yourself up emotionally to someone new and sharing yourself with that person. Remember, love doesn't mean you forget what you need, you just now have that added support to achieve it.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
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