Three years ago, my best friend moved across the country. She moved close enough that there was only a one hour difference, but far enough that a flight costs more than half my rent. The days leading up to her departure felt like the days leading up to the 2012 apocalypse. I had a very persistent fear that my world was about to be over, but an equally strong voice that said, "Don't be stupid, life will go on". The truth is, when you're a young professional, you don't see your friends as much as you'd like to. You might see the same person more than once a week if you're lucky, but most friends you'll see every other week, and some you'll only see once a month, or less.
So while your life might not change that drastically if your best friend leaves town, it will feel like it. Just knowing that person is only a walk or quick ride away is a great comfort. And knowing that we would keep in touch all the time, didn't take away from the fact that my heart hurt thinking about loosing my early morning pancake partner, my bookstore browsing buddy, my indie movie date, my late night diner dear, and my favorite person to hang out and do nothing with.
Alas, she moved away and my world didn't end. It took some getting used to, but we've finally figured out a way to feel close, despite the distance. And while I'd be so thrilled to have her back in the same city, I'm equally as thrilled to know that our friendship is strong enough to stretch across the country and back. Here are five ways to stay close to your bestie when you live far away from each other:
Get over your fear of FaceTime. Having the opportunity to look your friend in the eyes and see where they are and what their world looks like, is immensely helpful and intimate. Make a date to video chat each week and cherish this hang-sesh like you would with an IRL date.
I know this sounds obvious, but get in the habit of texting all the time, not just when you have something interesting to say. Let your friend know what you're doing that night, ask what they've been cooking for dinner lately, how they've been sleeping, what their new neighbors are like, make sure you're still sharing the mundane connection you had when you were still living in the same city. It will help you to understand each other across the distance if you know what it's like to be them every day.
Not those kinds of pics. I've never felt closer to my far away bestie than when she sends me unflattering selfies of her at work or of her cooking attempts or boyfriend's nose hair. It's less about what the photo is, and more about keeping this person a priority and not letting go of your silliness that you built IRL.
Okay, so maybe you can't afford to see each other regularly, but get a trip on the books. Pick a date and book it. Even if it's far off, you'll feel close planning all the details together over the next few months.
Pick Up The Phone
Our generation hates talking on the phone. I get it. I do, too. But we waste a lot of time walking places and in transit. Those are the best times to make an impromptu call to the bestie. Got a long walk? Call your friend and talk about anything. Keep that casual line of communication open. You don't always need to have an agenda before you call someone.
Images: Giphy (5)