Surviving the holidays with family members takes major talent and patience. And when you're single like me, it usually involves mentally figuring out how to answer questions about dating. I can't be the only one who wants to hide in a corner when a relative asks, "Are you dating someone?" Unfortunately, hiding in the corner became inappropriate around age 11. Besides, my mother hates it when I do that.
That dating question is the most inevitable question around this time of the year. I'm starting to think it's an unspoken holiday tradition. Often, I find myself racking my brain, trying to muster up witty responses ahead of time. It also doesn't help that my relatives know that most of my friends are married. And while I'm totally stoked for said friends, the comparison gets tiring. If only my relatives would ask what I ate for breakfast. Now, that's a conversation I can get behind.
If your relatives are anything like mine, the questions don't stop after the first one. After breaking the news that I'm single as can be, there's always Part 2: "But why?!"
This is where I sigh and pull out a notebook of reasons. This year, I might actually read them out loud, as soon as Uncle Tim finishes his seventh story. If you find yourself in a similar position, here are eight of my favorite reasons to explain why I'm single. Good luck out there, guys.
1. "I can't date food."
If you're the type that would rather hang out with a sandwich instead of a person, you're probably my spirit animal. There's also a good chance that we'll be dishing out the same excuse this year.I mean, sandwiches tend to look and smell better than people anyway.
2. "The delivery guy quit his job."
3. "No one is up to the challenge."
Do you have enough energy, personality, and stamina for 10 people? Use this reason, and prove to your family that you're just so outrageously awesome that no one can get on your level (yet).
4. "I'm too broke."
Let's face it: Having a significant other can get pricey. Between the dinner dates and birthday gifts, being in a relationship can take a toll on your wallet. Of course, when you love someone, none of that really matters. But for the sake of getting Aunt Mary off your back, try throwing this reason out. Who knows, maybe she'll even write you a check.
5. "I'm too clumsy."
Say it with the most serious face you can muster. Next, dive into some crazy story how you spilled wine on your ex's shirt, then accidentally broke his or her nose. Hopefully, your relatives will be too confused to push the subject even further.
6. "I'm busy with school."
We all know school is pretty darn important. There's a good chance your relatives do, too. With a reason like this one, they'll see that your main focus is on finishing up your education, and moving on to be a real life adult (or something like it).
Are you all done with school? Mention work instead. A Bustler's gotta hustle, after all.
7. "I'm busy with a new hobby."
Whether you're zeroing in on your interests, or just started something new, focus is needed when you take on something you care about. The same goes for goals, dreams, and aspirations. If a new partner comes along, great! Otherwise, nothing is going to slow you down. Remind your relatives that you've got your eye on bigger, better things.
8. "I'm busy being awesome."
Because you totally are. Duh.
Looking for more holiday cheer? Check out Bustle on YouTube.
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