Meryl Streep's Email to Emma Thompson After Oscar Snub Probably Read Something Like This

She only knows how to be THE BEST, and may we never forget it. Meryl Streep stopped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show and they chatted about the latest batch of Oscar nominations. As you are more than likely aware, Streep was nominated for her work in August: Osage County. It’s her 18th nomination. What a slouch. (And by “slouch” I mean “not-slouch.”) As good as she might be at racking up nominations, she told DeGeneres she wasn’t waiting for the Oscar call because she “didn’t think [she] had a chance.” Why?

Because, in her words, she’s “old news.” Uh, what? MERYL “QUEEN OF THE OSCARS” STREEP THOUGHT SHE DIDN’T HAVE A CHANCE BECAUSE SHE’S “OLD NEWS”? Don’t be humble, Streep. You transcend time. DeGeneres set her straight and said, “There is no such thing as talent being old news.” Thank you for saying what we were all thinking, DeGeneres. But as surprised as Streep might have been by her own nomination, she had bigger fish to fry: Emma Thompson’s snub.

Streep told DeGeneres she was “shocked” that friend Thompson was not nominated for her work in Saving Mr. Banks. Streep may be an icon/goddess/legend, but she gets worked up over this stuff just like the rest of us! So what did Streep do? She Tumblr’d her feelings regarding her friend's snub. Just kidding. Why would she use Tumblr when she can write Thompson directly? And that's just what she did. Streep said she sent Thompson a “long, heartfelt email saying how bad [she] felt.” Aw.

What does an email from Meryl Streep to Emma Thompson look like? We'll probably never see it. Why can't it be leaked instead of the Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez texts?! (LOL, I take it back. Those texts are my favorite thing ever.)

Since we'll never get to read it, I'm going to go ahead and imagine the correspondence. Can't help it. The Meryl/Emma friendship-fic writes itself. Here I go:

Dearest Emma,

Well, this is some shit, huh? Let me start out with the mushy stuff. Emma: You inspire me. You always have. You are a rare gem. Dare I say, you might be a gem too brilliant for Hollywood. Oh, look what you've made me do. You put me in a sentimental and corny headspace. I know I’ve said it before, but it is worth repeating: You as Professor Trelawney in the Harry Potter movies is one of the more underrated character performances in recent history. And your Shakespeare work? My goodness. You are one of the greatest at bringing the Bard’s work to life.

Emma. You in Saving Mr. Banks. What can I say? You were as exceptional as always. When P.L. Travers wept in the theater while watching Mary Poppins for the first time, I wept with you. I can't recall the last time a movie made me cry. Thanks, asshole.

I’m not going to name who I think you deserve a nomination over (because it’d be just my luck that the email I indict a bunch of fellow actors in would be the one email of mine that’s hacked/leaked). I will say that I assumed you were a lock. I didn’t think I stood a chance. I think you should’ve been nominated over me. No, that’s not faux-humility (you know me, Em. I’m not a bullshitter). I don’t know what happened. I’m pissed off that you didn’t get it. I feel terrible about it. Like I said, this is some shit.

We’ve been friends for a while, and for that I feel very fortunate.

This industry is tricky. I like a lot of our colleagues, but it’s important to remember who your true friends are. And Emma? You are a true friend. And an excellent friend. A talented friend. A positive friend. A weird and fabulous friend.

A hilarious friend.

I know you don’t let awards and whatnot get underneath your skin. I admire that. You know you’re on another level. But even so, THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT.

Let's get together soon, k? Post-awards season, let's lounge it out.

XO,

Meryl

Thompson's response (per Streep's Ellen interview...sort of):

HEY MERYL,

Good.

Love,

Emma

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