If you don't celebrate Christmas, I suggest you order some takeout on Friday and re-watch Season 5 of Game Of Thrones. Because you need to spend some quality time catching up on some wild Season 6 theories. There's so much speculation about the fate of Jon Snow, his death, and who his real mom and dad might be, and it's easy to get wrapped up in that. But don't forget that the HBO series has a ton of other mysterious loose ends that deserve their fair share of wild speculating, as the very un-revealing teaser trailer revealed.
Jon Snow is not the only man in Westeros that deserves such fan dedication. Although, to be fair, he did seem like the last good guy in charge, so let's hope that he does come back one way or another.
Season 5 left audiences heartbroken, and later pissed off, when they showed a bleeding Jon Snow who may or may not be dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But let's not forget there are seven kingdoms and plenty of other parentage mysteries and resurrection theories that are being ignored! Here are six crazy Season 6 theories you might not have read yet, and almost none of them have to do with Jon Snow:
1. Robb Stark Didn't Die
I know what you're thinking: didn't we see Robb Stark very tragically and certainly killed at the Red Wedding? There could be a possibility that Robb warged into his direwolf Grey Wind, as his last words were "Grey Wind!" The direwolf immediately began visciously attacking the Freys and the Boltons. Unfortunately, Grey Wind also ends up dying at the Red Wedding, but it takes the edge off of Robb's death a little if you believe he exacted some violent revenge. And then there are the very hopeful fans that think that Robb first warged into Grey Wind and then into another animal, and lives on, somewhere.
2. Jaqen H'ghar is Syrio Forel
Who wasn't excited for the return of Jaqen H'ghar in Season 5? What if he has been Syrio Forel all along? The last time the Faceless Man was seen was in Season 3, after giving Arya a Bravosi coin. He instructs her to utter the words, "Valor Morgulis" to escape to Braavos. Then he shape-shifts and says, "Farewell, Arya Stark," disappearing in the most mic-drop exit of all time. Jaqen returns in Season 5 — sort of. He tells Arya when she reaches the House Of Black And White that he is "no one," and she must learn to also be no one.
How does that connect to Syrio, Arya's sword-fighting instructor from Seaon 1? First of all, Syrio is from Braavos himself; in fact, he was the First Sword of Braavos. He believes in the God of Death — as do the Faceless Men at the House Of Black And White. "What do we say to the God of Death?" he asks Arya, right before he fights the Lannister guards and is supposedly killed by Ser Meryn Trant. But! His death isn't seen on-screen, which is the oldest trick in the book. Did he return as Jaqen in Season 3 and also in Season 5, to provide Arya more guidance?
What is up with Hodor? We might find out in Season 6, when the gentle giant returns along with Bran Stark and the Three-Eyed Raven. But a particular theory about Hodor and the supposed Great Other, laid out on Reddit, is not such good news. Hodor's real name is Walder, and he is Old Nan's grandson — that we know for sure. So if his name is Walder, why is the only word he says "Hodor?"
The theory suggests that "Hodor" refers to the Great Other, which the Red Priests of Light recognize as the opposite of the Lord of Light; he is Lord of dark, cold, and winter; no one should utter his name. So either Hodor IS The Great Other, which seems unlikely, or he encountered the Great Other as a child and was so traumatized by what he say that he can only forever say his name, perhaps as a warning.
4. A + J = T
You didn't think there was only one parentage equation theory, did you? The most popular theory is of course R + L = J, suggesting that Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark are Jon Snow's true parents. It's practically accepted as canon now. But A + J = T is about another potential dragon: Tyrion Lannister. The theory proposes that Tyrion's true father is not the lion Tywin Lannister but in fact, the Mad King Aerys II Targaryen. The king was known (like most of the men in Westeros, let's be real) to be very unfaithful to his wife, and he set his eyes on Joanna Lannister, Tywin's wife, who later gave birth to Tyrion Targaryen.
The theory isn't widely believed though, because fans say that if Tywin is not Tyrion's father, the pure hatred between them wouldn't be as potent. But couldn't Tywin be hateful of his wife's son with another man? Tyrion has just gotten into cahoots with the Mother Of Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen. Maybe it's a family reunion where the truth will come out.
5. Jon Snow Has A Twin
So crazy it just might work? Though there are more theories about Jon Snow than deaths on Game Of Thrones, this one about his past is newer and super intriguing. It proposes that not only is Jon Snow the child of Prince Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, but he has a twin sister, and it's none other than Meera Reed.
The evidence? It's thin, but compelling. When Ned went to rescue his sister from the Tower Of Joy, that's supposedly when Jon Snow was born. But what if there had been two children? The man that accompanied Ned Stark to the Tower to rescue a dying Lyanna was his lifelong friend Howland Reed. Ned could have taken Jon while Reed took Meera back to Greywater Watch. And remember: Meera and Jojen Reed lead Bran Stark to the Three-Eyed Raven.
6. Ned Stark Is Alive
It's so implausible and improbable but wow, I want to believe it so bad. I miss Ned, and I am still so mad at him for his dumb-dumb missteps that led him to get beheaded. Good guys finish last in Westeros! But there's a theory that Eddard Stark was not the one killed at the end of Season 1.
The book evidence shows that when Ned was executed, it was in an Arya chapter, and she said she could barely recognize him; Sansa also says his head looks unfamiliar on the stake, and Catelyn opines that his bones look like they came from a smaller man. Maybe it was not Ned that was killed after all... although, it probably was.
If these wacky theories haven't exhausted you enough, you can always pore over the many, many Jon Snow theories that are circulating like snow drifts all across the Internet. Winter is going to last until at least April for Game Of Thrones fans, so you have plenty of time to decide which theories you ascribe to. One thing we know for sure about Season 6: it's probably going to destroy every single theory out there.
Images: Helen Sloan/HBO (6)