This year, get off the bandwagon of played out New Year's resolutions, and commit to something a little more inspired. While everyone and their moms are pledging to popular resolutions like giving up bad habits, going to the gym, and drinking more water, you'll want to consider doing these 10 weird New Year's resolutions instead.
With an eight percent success rate, New Year's resolutions aren't exactly realistic terms to commit to. As the year goes on, our motivations dwindle and we sacrifice ideals to adjust to real life demands. So while we may have started the year amped up with conviction and the best of intentions, a few months (weeks, or even days) in, we end up breaking our promises to ourselves and are left with feelings of failure and guilt.
Instead of committing to 366 days (yep, 2016 is a leap year) of healthy eating and moderate alcohol intake, pursue a goal that's decidedly more realistic, and also more rewarding. While breaking a bad habit or getting out of debt are definitely worth your attention, bestow on them the title of requirements for life rather than goals for the new year. The list below touches on less serious topics that still contribute to your all-around happiness and success to ensure a gratifying 2016 (and you'll have a better time than you would making sure you're eating greens with every meal).
1. Master three infallible jokes
There's no power move quite as badass as executing the perfect joke at just the right time and place. Whether you're making new friends or out doing drinks with coworkers, the perfect joke can be just the thing to make the evening, and make an impression. If you find yourself speechless when the time comes to tell your best one-liner, take time to familiarize yourself with a few dependable selections you love, and make sure you can tell them impeccably every time. If you're a fan of the inappropriate, make sure to have a PC option in your arsenal. You don't want to spark up a reputation as the comedian only to have nothing to say in front of your boss or significant other's parents.
2. Teach yourself something you never learned growing up
A New Year's resolution item that often makes the list is learning something new. Rather than pulling something wild out of the hat like home preserving or learning Japanese, take care of mastering something you missed out on during your childhood. Never learned how to play chess? Make it a priority in 2016. Still don't know how to ride a bike? Grab a friend, head to the park, and graduate from training wheels. It could be as simple and low commitment as picking up a yo-yo, but you'll still have the gratification of mastering something new.
3. Concoct your go-to drink
If you're like me and there's no chance that Bond or his real world equivalent will ever name a drink after you, make your own and make it yours. Experiment with bitters, vermouth, honey syrup, and liqueurs to take your drink mixing game to the next level. Perfect your perfect drink, and be able to serve it up at a moment's notice when friends are over. At my apartment, 2016 is the year of the Dacy Libre.
4. Learn a party trick
After mastering your three foolproof jokes, secure your party prowess with an impressive party trick. It can be anything your heart desires involving cards, matches, toothpicks, or whatever household objects are typically on hand. You'll always be the one able to step in during a dull moment and get the party momentum going again, you low-key hero.
5. Pick a type of food, and try it everywhere
Food-related bucket lists are nothing new, but rather than draw up a mishmash of restaurants recommended by some online guide, pick a theme and stick with it. You'll be more dedicated to checking things off your list and will be forced to plan out your culinary adventures (because as delicious as lobster roll is, there's only so much you and your wallet can handle in a short period of time). It could be exploring Ethiopian options that were previously under the radar, or trying out all the ramen-yas in your neighborhood to determine your favorite. Whatever you choose, there will be purpose in your ventures, and by the end of it, you and your partner in crime will be experts in (eating) that specific cuisine.
6. Start a new tradition
Grab your girlfriends, a bottle of wine, come up with an activity, and voila! A new tradition is born. It could be surrounding a shared interest or a new activity you all want to try (an upgraded remix of that common resolution). Make the first brainstorming session an activity in itself with a girls' night and generous pours of Pinot. After that, let the tradition evolve organically and develop its own character, then be sure to keep to it down the road.
7. Switch up your sources
Sure, you may be a staunch subscriber to your favorite magazines or constantly have your online go-tos open in your browser, but every so often make an effort to explore other sources. You can approach it as a game, and just check out what's up in the world of Popular Mechanics, Field & Stream, or J-14. If there's a topic you're passionate about, explore a variety of news outlets for coverage to see how differently it's delivered depending on the source. You'll see perspectives that contradict your own, and be better able to strengthen your arguments. It will be kind of like actively killing time in a dentist's office, but you'll be exploring at your own will.
8. Once a month, go out solo
Take your "me time" to the next level by taking it out. Who says you need a companion to hang with at the bar or sit across from at the dinner table? Treat yourself to a night out with the sole goal of enjoying the company of you. You'll be able to 100 percent focus on the food, the drink in your hand, and your thoughts. It may feel awkward at first, but you'll soon find it empowering, and you'll be strengthening your ability to feel comfortable solo in other situations. You might even strike up a conversation with a stranger, or make a new friend (just look out for creeps).
9. Make a point to celebrate the little things
And I mean really celebrate. Just beat the hardest level of your favorite game app? Happy dance. Ordered the very last egg everything bagel? You're owning the morning. I'm a strong proponent of finding any excuse to engage in revelry. The barista spelled my name right? It's only happened twice in my life, so when it does I'm over the moon. After that, I'm pretty convinced the day is mine and my mom, dad, and sister are guaranteed to receive texts. Be in awe, grateful, and exuberant about life's little triumphs. You'll end up feeling overwhelmingly more positive, and will be better equipped to take on the bad.
10. Live like this is it
This line may come across as more general or cryptic than I actually mean, but I couldn't allow myself to write "YOLO." Essentially, don't wait to do things you want to do when "you're older," "have your own place," or "have your sh*t together." You bought that adorable ceramic dessert plate set for a reason, and it shouldn't wait to be enjoyed 10 years from now when you buy your own house. Enjoy them now. Use the bubble bath set you were just gifted for the holidays. There's no spa day like today. Burn the candles. Use the truffle oil. Wear that dress. The longer we wait to enjoy life's pleasures, the more likely we are to not enjoy them when the time comes, and the more we're ultimately missing out.
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