An Open Breakup Letter To 2015, Because It's Time I Start Thinking About My Future
I'd like to start out by letting the world know that you are amazing. You and I had some seriously incredible times together, but uh — oh, this is awkward — I've realized it's time for me to start thinking about my future. And, well, you're not a part of it. 2015, we are breaking up. Consider this letter your official notice.
Look, before you say anything, let me explain. When we first started seeing each other, it felt like the whole world was ours. You were my blank slate, my fresh start. Those first few weeks held so much potential — I would look at all the dates the calendar had in store for us, and feel butterflies. You made me want to be my very best self. This is so embarrassing, but did you know that when we first started dating, I actually made lists of all the ways I wanted to improve myself to live up to what I perceived to be your standards? I promised I'd drink more water, stay more organized, wake up earlier, eat more greens — all because I thought doing those things would make me feel more attractive, more worthy of your love, and more successful.
I thought you were helping to build me up, and in many ways you did. But, now that I think about it, it was my truly inspiring circle of friends and family members that helped me grow into the person I wanted to be, not you. They were the ones who really looked out for me these last 12 months. They were the ones who celebrated my successes, and helped me plan my next step when I couldn't figure out where to go next. You only chimed in every now and then to remind me when rent was due. Our relationship quickly began to feel, well, a little routine.
Since then, we both just got too busy to give each other the time and attention we deserve. You would zoom by some days at such an intense speed that I thought there was no way I could keep up with you. And I know there were times where I could have been more attentive, too. Times where I could have paused for a second to reflect on our relationship, on what we had done, and what we had in store. I guess I just assumed you would always be there. I realize, now, just how wrong I was.
I feel it's only right I tell you yes, I do plan on seeing someone else. I'm not going to sit around and wax poetic about the last 12 months. I have a future with 2016, and while I don't quite know what's going to happen just yet, for the first time in a long time, the butterflies are back. You had your beautiful moments, but as hard as it is for me to say this, I need a clean start — and that is exactly what 2016 is offering me.
I will never forget you, but I have no plans to dwell on the past.
It's not going to be easy, moving on from you. I plan to spend the next few hours downing champagne, stuffing my face with leftover Christmas cookies, and listening to the soothing lyrical poeticism of Taylor Swift, who just so happens to be debuting her "Out of the Woods" music video tonight during my time of need. If that doesn't make me feel better, I'll turn to Adele's new album, which is arguably the best present you gave me in 2015, and one I will treasure forever. But then? Then it's time to move on. If there is one thing 2016 has promised, it's that there is greater growth, love, and happiness in store for me.
You're not going to be gone from my life completely. I know I'll probably see you and the memories we made together pop up on Facebook from time to time, and when I tell my future kids about you, it will only be with fondness and respect. I will never forget you, but I have no plans to dwell on the past. I have to start thinking of my future, and that future starts now.
All my love,
Images: New Line Cinema; Giphy (2)