Tom Schwartz Asks A Big Question On 'Pump Rules'

The man with the ring on a string has been redeemed. On Monday night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules , Tom Schwartz finally did the one thing longtime girlfriend Katie had been hoping he would do sooner rather than later: he proposed. While the proposal wasn’t a surprise to the viewers at home (not only was Tom Schwartz’s ring shopping adventure featured in an earlier episode, but his and Katie’s engagement was all over social media last summer), the viewers at home didn’t know how he was going to go about it. Would he somehow incorporate the the forever iconic ring on a string gambit? Would he tie the engagement ring to Gordo’s collar? Would he rent out a roller-rink and perform an elaborate skate routine before rolling down to one knee? What did Schwartz have up his perfectly rolled sleeve?!?!?!?!?!

Here is the recipe for the Schwartz-posal:

  • 2 parts engagement ring shopping appointment with Tom Sandoval and Scheana
  • 2 parts faux-proposal to Lisa Vanderpump
  • 1 part Lisa Vanderpump gasping at the ring out of approval
  • 1 part faux-propose to Tom Sandoval with a container of breakfast potatoes
  • 3 parts proposal styling session with Tom Sandoval
  • 1 part Tom Sandoval chugging water straight from a Brita pitcher
  • 1 part “Bada bing, bada boom, I love you, let’s go to Hawaii and have fiancé sex.”
  • 3 parts heart-to-heart about the Craigslist ad that brought the Toms Schwartz and Sandoval together so many moons ago
  • 2 parts Tom Sandoval birthday dinner that’s actually just a proposal setup in disguise
  • 1 part the other SURvers don't know it's a proposal setup in disguise
  • 1 part make some casual jokes about marriage to throw Katie off the scent
  • 1 part don’t miss your cue after the server clears the entrées
  • 7 parts lots of deep breaths
  • 4 parts look like you might pass out
  • 25 parts take swig of Red Stripe
  • 1 part notice another "proposal" happening on the other side of the restaurant <img src="http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/51/d7db6330-9587-0133-395f-06e18a8a4ae5.png?w=320"/>
  • 1 part call attention to the other "proposal" happening on the other side of the restaurant
  • 1 part interrupt the other "proposal"
  • 1 part snatch the ring box from the other "proposal"
  • 1 part turn the "proposal" into a real proposal
  • 1 part propose to Katie with the snatched ring box<img src="http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/51/035acbb0-9588-0133-9834-0a6c20e5e327.png?w=320"/>
  • 10 parts the other SURvers shriek and cry out of delight
  • 1 part Katie says yes
  • 1 part Kristie notices her heart grow two sizes
  • 1 part the ring on a string quietly cries into its pillow and whispers "it should've been me"

Rest in peace, ring on a string. Thanks for the memories. Ring in a box will take it from here.

Images: Bravo (2)