When it comes to science fiction characters, few have ever been as wonderfully eccentric and memorable as Fringe's genius, time-addled scientist Walter Bishop. Walter was a complicated man who did his share of morally questionable things across multiple timelines, but there is one area in which I never failed to relate to Walter: his undying love for food. Walter Bishop was a total foodie. Not a five-star restaurant Foodie with a capital F, but a real food foodie like you and me, in that he appreciated Red Vines, milkshakes, and eating on a regular schedule (even while performing autopsies) to avoid getting hangry as much as he valued saving the world. Walter, you see, had his priorities in check.
Walter's culinary feelings are universal. You know how annoyed you get when you are starving and your friends refuse to decide between pizza and Chinese food? Walter understands the deep rage this situation fills your soul with. The excitement you feel when someone brings donuts to the office? There's a Walter quote for that. He even knows the sense of defeat failing to cook a new recipe can bring. Face it, Walter just gets your relationship with food on every level, and these 11 quotes will prove it.
1. "If You Are Going Out, Could You Bring Me Back Some Cotton Candy?"
Anytime someone leaves the house you take that as an opportunity to request they bring back your favorite food item. This is how you weed out decent people from the jerks who will always forget your corn chips.
2. "The Only Thing Better Than A Cow Is A Human! Unless You Need Milk. Then You Really Need A Cow."
You love people. People are the best. However, you need food, so in cases of hunger you are much happier to see golden arches on the horizon than a friendly face... unless that friendly face is Ronald McDonald's.
3. "Don't Eat My Pudding!"
Real friends don't touch your food without asking. All fry thieves are immediately cut from your life. It may sound harsh, but fries are serious business.
4. "I'm Bored. No Cadavers At This Crime Scene. Or Food."
Because everyone knows the closest thing to hell on Earth is a party without food.
5. "I'm Eating For Comfort."
The perfect go-to catchphrase for anyone who eats lunch with someone who always orders a salad.
6. "I Haven't Had A Root Beer Float In Seventeen Years."
This is you literally every time you go more than a week without eating your favorite food.
7. "Do You Know What You Are Putting Into Our Bodies? Death. Delicious, Strawberry Flavored Death."
Because the food industry just won't stop betraying you. Bacon is a carcinogen now. Is nothing sacred?
8. "You Know... I Had A Fruit Cocktail Once In Atlantic City. Mind You I'm Not The Fruit Cocktail Sorta Guy."
Reminiscing about food is your favorite pastime — good food, bad food, it doesn't matter. Every food experience is a new story.
9. "Oh, Don't Be Ridiculous. You Were Abducted, Of Course You Need Crepes!"
There is no bad day, problem, or general moment of suckiness that cannot be improved by good food. This is just a life rule.
10. "I Have A Terrible Headache, And A Sudden Craving For Chicken Wings."
When those hangry feelings set in, it is best for people to get out of your way because you get a little too real when you go too long without a snack.
11. "While Collecting Samples Just Down The Road, I Saw A Sign For A Place That Serves Delicious, Homemade Rhubarb Pie. Who's Hungry?"
Work hard, play hard, and never miss a lunch break — the three most important elements of a happy life.
See, I told you Walter understood your food love. The next time you bite into a Red Vine, know that you are in good company.
Images: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (9); fyeahfringegifs/Tumblr (2)
