8 Things You Regret Not Doing In The '90s, Because Your Childhood & Adolescence Could Have Been Even Cooler Than They Already Were
Doing things you'll later regret is basically a rite of passage, and '90s kids like myself took part in plenty of now embarrassing fads, fashions, and other facepalm-worthy decisions. If you're anything like me, though, there are perhaps just as many things you regret not doing in the '90s as the things you wish you'd never done. Is it possible these things would also have wound up on the list of regrettable decisions had you actually accomplished them? Possibly. But, alas, we'll never know now. The sun has since set on the '90s, along with our chance to give these things a go.
With any luck, though, some of the things we only wished we'd done during their heyday in the '90s will resurface. It's not too far of a stretch — we're in the midst of a '90s revival as we speak, and our favorite throwbacks are making comebacks at a seemingly exponential rate. From Fuller House to Ecto-Cooler, '90s kids are getting to relieve our glory days thanks to the driving demand of nostalgia in today's society.
While it remains to be seen if the following things will have their second coming, it still isn't quite the same as having done them the first time around. So let's take a minute to air out some of the things we '90s kids regret not doing then so we can lay this remorse to rest.
1. Taking Better Care Of Your Tamagotchi
Poor little guy — you got a bum deal when he wound up with me. Between hanging out with my friends and extracurriculars like sports, I couldn't be bothered to feed you the five zillion loaves of bread you seemingly needed to survive or to take you to the park every other hour so you could do your business. As a result, you pooed yourself to death. Perhaps this has something to do with my long-held (and hopefully irrational) fear of being a horrible mother. I have no one but myself to blame. RIP, my Tamagotchi friend.
2. Talking To Your Crush On The Phone
It's not that I didn't have ample opportunities to awkwardly fumble through a phone conversation with biggest '90s crush — it's just that roughly 87 percent of the time I called, his mom picked up. In those instances, could I muster up the nerve to stammer so much as a hello? Nope. This period of my life mainly consisting of dialing *69, making the call, lingering like a creeper while hoping his mom couldn't hear me breathing, and then hanging up and screaming into my pillow in a heady mix of excitement and self-anger. Good times.
3. Going To A Bulls Game
Despite unabashedly rocking a #23 jersey around the schoolyard, I somehow never managed to make it to a Bulls game to ogle Michael Jordan ruling the NBA, as he was wont to do. While a narrow window to see His Airness on the court reopened in the early '00s, it wouldn't have been the same watching him play for the Wizards. On the bright side, I'll always have Space Jam to perk me up on my darkest days.
4. Boxing Up All Your Beanie Babies
Would the many Beanie Babies you amassed in the '90s make you as rich as you one day imagined they would? No. The answer is no. It is highly unlikely any of us could achieve billionaire status by via the Beanie Babies cash cow. Having said that, some of these snuggly little throwbacks go on eBay from $100 or more a pop. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't hate that.
5. Freeing Willy
OK, so maybe not quite as literally as Jesse did in the 1993 hit movie. Still, I remember being terribly outraged viewing life through the lens of this captive orca back, yet I did little about it other than sponsor one of the majestic creatures (the 'adoption' certificate hung on my bedroom wall for most of the decade). I felt the same way after watching Blackfish in 2013, making me wonder why I didn't speak up about the captivity and treatment of these highly intelligent animals at some point in the 20 years between the two films.
6. Not Claiming A Piece Of The Aggro Crag
Or getting slimed or achieving any of the other types of eternal glory that came with winning one of the many '90s kid game shows. I really, really wanted to attend Space Camp after bagging top honors on Legends of the Hidden Temple, and I remain convinced my sister and I would have been the highest earning winners ev-er on Double Dare.
7. Listening In 4th Period Geography Class
Notice how I didn't mention Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? That, my friends, is because my geography skills were pretty sub-par back in the day. And even if yours didn't, the odds are good there was a least one subject you suffered in — and it had everything to do with passing notes, the '90s precursor to text messaging. If only I'd spent a little more time paying attention and a little less time devising elaborate ways to fold secret message, perhaps I'd have a better handle on that whole state capitals thing.
8. Insisting T-Shirt Clips Were A Bad Idea
I remember the first time I saw someone wearing a t-shirt side-tie holder. You know the kind — the circles with a slash down the middle that were mildly reminiscent of the symbols used in no smoking signs. I remember the inkling in the back of my head telling me to steer clear of the fad, too. Yet, instead of hearing that inkling out, I muffled it and forged ahead with wild abandon. And now I'll one day have to explain to my kids what that weird contraption is that mommy is wearing in nearly EVERY SINGLE PICTURE from the '90s. Ditto for most of my sartorial decisions during the decade.