You think you've had an awkward Valentine's Day date? Listen, Imma let you finish, but Harry Potter and Cho Chang had the most awkward Valentine's Day date of all time. And even that didn't compare to poor Ginny and the singing Valentine she sent Harry in her first year. February 14 is a fickle day of the year for magic and non-magic folk alike, but one thing we can all get behind to make the day more bearable are Harry Potter Valentine's Day gifts — because as they say, the fastest way to a nerd's heart is through fandom merch. (Or as I say. I don't know how the sane half of the world lives, TBH.)
I'm personally such a fan of Valentine's Day in all of its sparkly pink commercialized glory that the literal only thing that could make the holiday better is Harry Potter shenanigans. And praise be to all that is dorky, there is plenty of Potteresque V-Day merch to go around. If you want to woo a Muggle or a Non-Maj with wizard swag this year, problem solved! Gift them with any of these and you'll be guaranteed to have a ~magical~ day:
"I Know How To Lovegood" Shirt
It's been eight zillion years but this joke will NEVER DIE, so embrace it with some V-Day flair.
"I Know How To Lovegood" Shirt, $29, Look Human
Harry Potter Candy Gift Box
Fix all your Hogwarts Express trolley FOMO in one delicious go!
Harry Potter Candy Gift Box , $28, Amazon
"I'm A Keeper, I'm A Catch" Mugs
Nothing says true love like adorkable Quidditch metaphors.
"I'm A Keeper, I'm A Catch" Mugs, $23.25, Etsy
"You Must Be A Horcrux" Sweater
Still debating the legality of turning Chris Pratt into a horcrux? Here's a decidedly more legal way to demonstrate your love.
"You Must Be A Horcrux" Sweater, $44, Look Human
"After All This Time, Always" Pillows
So now you can cry about Snape from dusk 'til dawn.
"After All This Time, Always" Pillows, $32.99, Etsy
"Favorite Muggle" Print
If not for your bae, but this for your fellow Americans to support #NoMajGate2016.
"Favorite Muggle" Print, $4.45 Etsy
Hogwarts House Friendship Necklace
A little treat for ALL your Valentines! (Dibs on Hufflepuff.)
Hogwarts House Friendship Necklace, $17.61, Etsy
"Mind If I Slytherin" Card
Somewhere far in the fictional distance, Salazar Slytherin is rolling in his grave.
"Mind If I Slytherin" Card, $4.50, Etsy,
Amortentia Bath Gift Set
Plot twist: you can't tell what it smells like, cuz you're already with your true love. ;)
Amortentia Bath Gift Set, $35, Etsy
"Make Love Not Horcruxes" Shirt
Getting down and dirty on Valentine's Day could SAVE LIVES, guys.
"Make Love Not Horcruxes" Shirt, $32, Look Human
"You're My Favorite Muggle" Candy
Be the office hero. Candy Valentine's ain't just for kids, y'all.
"You're My Favorite Muggle" Candy, $10, Etsy
I just ... watched my childhood go up in flames. But I'm weirdly here for it.
Accio Card, $6, Etsy
Harry Potter Personalized Cutting Board
Somewhere there is an island made of just Harry Potter books and cheese and it is where I will go when I die.
Harry Potter Personalized Cutting Board, $25, Etsy
Hollowed Out Harry Potter Proposal Book
NO PRESSURE, friend, but just saying — if you're gonna do put a ring on it, go big or go home, Potter-style.
Hollowed Out Harry Potter Proposal Book, $64, Etsy
Images: Courtesy of Brands