Valentine’s Day can be a real bummer, gang. This capitalist headache only serves to drive home any existing insecurities about being a single person, and that is pretty uncool because for one, being single rules (as evidenced by Beyoncé, Kelly, and Michelle. And two, literally any day of the year is an appropriate day to celebrate your affection for another human — we don’t need pink candy and a calendar day for that.
Because we love you, we made you a player hater mixtape, we wore ridiculous “sexy” lingerie (and broke it), and we rounded up a list of suggested activities to make your singledom more tolerable today. But there’s one more silver lining, a last minute treasure to ease your saddened heart. Comedian and illustrator Ben Kling delivered to us the rejected Valentine’s Day cards that we deserve, and you guys, they’re Harry Potter-themed. Because absolutely nothing provides the accurate level of topical bitterness quite like our favorite magical crew.
Ditch your loneliness and opt instead for petulant Harry Potter puns. Feel free to send one of these babies to the Draco Malfoy in your life. And if you’d like to buy any of these for future objects of your disdain, you can head here.
Have a very magical Valentine's Day, guys.
Images: Ben King (3)