These Bitter Harry Potter Valentines Are The Magical Cure We Needed

FERNLEY, NV - JULY 11: Copies of the new Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, by author J. K. Rowling are seen at the Amazon.com shipping facility July 11, 2005 in Fernley, Nevada. Amazon.com is packing up over 800,000 orders of the new Harry Potter book for shipment in the United States on July 16th. Over 1.2 million orders have been received worldwide. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Source: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Valentine’s Day can be a real bummer, gang. This capitalist headache only serves to drive home any existing insecurities about being a single person, and that is pretty uncool because for one, being single rules (as evidenced by Beyoncé, Kelly, and Michelle. And two, literally any day of the year is an appropriate day to celebrate your affection for another human — we don’t need pink candy and a calendar day for that.

Because we love you, we made you a player hater mixtape, we wore ridiculous “sexy” lingerie (and broke it), and we rounded up a list of suggested activities to make your singledom more tolerable today. But there’s one more silver lining, a last minute treasure to ease your saddened heart. Comedian and illustrator Ben Kling delivered to us the rejected Valentine’s Day cards that we deserve, and you guys, they’re Harry Potter-themed. Because absolutely nothing provides the accurate level of topical bitterness quite like our favorite magical crew.

Ditch your loneliness and opt instead for petulant Harry Potter puns. Feel free to send one of these babies to the Draco Malfoy in your life. And if you’d like to buy any of these for future objects of your disdain, you can head here.



Have a very magical Valentine's Day, guys.

Images: Ben King (3)

Must Reads