HBO knows how intense and obsessive fans of their hit series Game of Thrones are, so they've made no shortage of clips and quips and teasers for the hotly anticipated and sure-to-be bananas forthcoming fourth season. So being that we live in the most impatient, instant gratification-obsessed society out there, the network has decided to unroll a mini, 15-minute long featurette titled Game of Thrones Season 4: Fire and Ice, A Foreshadowing on Sunday, Feb. 9. But in order to do that the network had to announce the teaser with... a teaser for the teaser. Because this is what we've become, America/the world: a bunch of impatient nincompoops clawing and cawing for any and every little bit of minutiae available.
The :30-second teaser features several of the series' biggest players heading into the fourth season, including Maisie Williams, Peter Dinklage, Emilia Clarke, Kit Harington, and the bratty boy King Joffrey's alter-ego, Jack Gleeson. So what have we learned? A few things, but mainly they all tie back to things book readers are all-too-aware of that TV-watchers may not want to have spoiled for them. So instead of giving it all away up front, we've decided to tease the teases in the teaser's teaser — because there's nothing at all absurd and ridiculous about that, now is there?
There are horses.
And they run! Swiftly, probably towards Khaleesi.
Tyrion is humiliated.
Seems as though Westeros' favorite half man is going to find himself in hot water.
Joffrey gets testy with a sword.
Beating inanimate objects with a sharp metal rod: because that's always productive and mature.
The twincest has returned.
Jaime and Cersei Lannister are taking it back to where it all began: getting down and dirty on the DL — even though it's literally the worst-kept secret in all of the Seven Kingdoms.
The Starks are: touching trees, wearing cloaks, sticking with the pointy end.
Sansa's in a cloak! Bran touches a tree! Arya does some needlework on a bunch of rocks! Y'know: Stark stuff.
Jon Snow sees some action.
And unfortunately none of it is our own doing.
There are swords. Lots and lots of swords.
Metal always meddles, y'all.
As Khaleesi herself stated, "as with everything in Game of Thrones, you just never know." But we're pretty sure we just blew open the teased-out doors of this teaser's teaser, so I dare say it's your move, mother of dragons.
Game of Thrones: Fire and Ice, A Foreshadowing airs Sunday, February 9th at 8:45PM on HBO.Image: HBO