Back when I worked as an editor for a fitness magazine – think Men’s Health on a significantly smaller scale – I reached out to renowned pickup artist, Nick Savoy, to provide the best Tinder strategies for our audience. To my dismay, I received a rather disappointing response where I was encouraged to “swipe yes to everyone.”
He then recommended that, if I match, I message someone immediately “because most good-looking girls get hundreds of matches in the app on any given week, and by contacting her promptly, [I’ll] have gotten a word in while [I] still have prime real-estate at the top of her matches list.”
While his insights may be true, I wasn’t keen on the idea of swiping ‘yes’ for everyone who appeared on my screen; it seemed disingenuous and desperate considering how much I personally hated matching with somebody, reaching out, and not hearing back – even if it's because I wasn't part of this "prime real-estate" Savoy mentioned.
I can only assume that if I did match up with somebody I didn’t find attractive but swiped right, the same would happen. Needless to say, I didn’t want that.
This is why why I decided to reach out to men actually using the app to determine what they’ve found works best for them. Below, according to nine male Tinder users of varying ages, are the strategies that have best worked for them for talking to women or men.
1. Nick, 27
Perhaps Brad Pitt-looking dudes don't have this problem, but I'm pretty sure every average or slightly-above-Average Joe can relate. When I first joined Tinder women rarely, if ever, messaged me first.
I then had a moment of genius. I added one line to the very bottom of my profile that, no joke, means I never have to be the first to reach out if I don't want to. 60 percent of the time, it works every time. The line is: "Double dog dare you to message me first :)" Boom. That's it. Short, simple, polite, and astonishingly effective.
2. Matthew, 31
Your profile picture is the key thing that gets people to swipe right. After a few (OK, many) dates with people who are physically (much) more attractive as their virtual-self than in reality, users, like myself, start to ask questions or engage in some dialogue before agreeing to a physical meet up.
I can see the "seasoned" daters quickly - they ask favorite foods/restaurants/how to spend free time, and so on, BEFORE agreeing to meet up. A little investigation after the swipe saves much effort in the long run.
3. Zach, 23
I don't usually have time to meet new people. If someone matches with me, great! I'll read the bio, do my due diligence, checking their instagram and Facebook, and, if I think the match is worth pursuing, I'll strike up a conversation. Conversation is the crux of a successful Tinder match, in my opinion, so if my match is a fun conversationalist, I'll ask her out on a date. From there, well, we play it by ear!
4. Sandro, 44
My strategy is to have good quality pictures, which include none of the following: in front of my car, shirtless, or fishing. Women see that too much.
On the other hand, I don’t take the bio seriously. I’ve written: "Don’t you hate when you’re making a sandwich and the knife falls in the toilet.", as well as: "The only reason I have a mirror on my ceiling is so I can watch my self eat Chipotle alone."
I also ask a lot of questions. Usually, it's the same first question: "What’s an app like this doing around a girl like you?" If they get the humor, then that’s great. At least half of the women don’t ask questions back, they just answer, so then there's no real conversation so that pretty much ends it.
5. Adam, 25
The best Tinder strategy that I've found (on accident, several times) is that it's best for those that live in small cities and enjoy social scenes. Basically, use Tinder to match, carry on a bit of a conversation, but use it for an opener for when you run into someone in person. It's the easiest ice-breaker, going up to someone and saying, "Hey! We matched on Tinder!"
In my experience, I've received a number every time I've asked for one. It's not a guaranteed strategy because you might not ever run into them, but a good tool in your arsenal for going up to a woman with an easy conversation starter. I find this much better than trying to connect with someone over text.
6. Brian, 33
My strategy: have anywhere from five to seven photos. Make sure to have at least one to two of those photos be with friends, and make sure your main profile photo sticks out. I also try to include something fun that potential matches will be able to comment on.
As for swiping, I swipe right on everyone (while most of us are shallow, it's a nice experience getting to talk to everyone, attractive or unattractive). Also, I don't beat around the bush when I talk to her and provide plans. Something like: "Let's go here on Thursday night at nine for drinks and food."
And finally, when I'm at the date, I don't bring up dating apps or why you're on them. It's best to just be yourself.
7. Andrew, 29
The more darts you throw the more that are bound to hit the board.
8. Flyn, 25
My first profile image was a simple graphic that said "Ask Google; 'Should I Swipe Right on Flynn'" There's a webpage dedicated to the question. That's it. No bio. And yes, it worked.
9. Jon, 27
Swipe right as much as you can! I once changed my sex to woman, and swiped right to see how many men who identify as straight want to either hit on me or meet for a rendezvous. It worked really well. 💅
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