I get it. Life happens. Sometimes you fall out of touch with people you genuinely love, simply because work, your own personal life, distance, family, or whatever it is that keeps you on the grind got in the way. Sometimes our friends can live a few subway stops away and it still feels impossible to see them at the end of a 12 hour work day, when all you want to do is veg out and go to bed. There are just so many commitments and curve balls in life that even when you have the best intentions, sometimes your friendships don't take first priority. Paying bills, getting a good night's sleep, calling your mother, cleaning your house, having some down time, doing the groceries, getting a jump on your Monday work over the weekend — as you get older, different things start to take priority.
The days of spending whole weekends joined at the hip with your friends are reserved for younger people. As everyone starts to get their own lives — mortgages, promotions, marriages, babies — hanging out with friends and "doing nothing" isn't always seen as a necessity when you're scheduling your time. That's not a bad thing. It's just life. It doesn't mean your friends mean any less to you, or that you wouldn't instantly be by each other's side in a crisis. It just means practical concerns start to get in the way of social ones. If you're looking to reconnect with an old friend, here are some ways you can do that.
1. Make A Phone Call
Life is busy. We all get it. If you miss an old friend and are struggling to catch up, doing so can be as easy as placing a phone call. If you can't fit in face time, the next best thing is voice time, or even Face Time! Remember the '90s, when you were in high school and used to spend hours on the phone to your friends? Well, it's like riding a bike, you never forget how to do it. Channel your inner phone-gossiping teen.
2. Be Patient
Don't be demanding and harsh. If your friend has been MIA it's probably with good reason, so be empathetic and patient when you're reaching out. Don't expect your friend to just jump to attention as soon as you come calling. These things take time, and you can't just snap your fingers and hope that your friend is instantly available to you.
3. Let Them Know You Miss Them
Sometimes you don't recognize what you mean to people. Rather than just telling your friend "We should catch up," let them know how important that is to you. It's not just a casual meet up, it's a long overdue meeting of two people who love and miss each other, so make that clear. This way, you can both make reconnecting a real priority.
4. Pick Something Nostalgic To Do Together
Do you have a favorite cafe or diner? A park where you used to walk together? Pick an activity that the two of you used to do together before life got in the way.
5. Make It About Just You Two
Don't try and fit your friend into an occasion with other friends. Don't make it an afterthought. Don't say, "Oh I'll be here with these people at this time, you should come." Make it about just the two of you. Set aside time where you can just talk to one another, even if it's only for an hour. Quality time is better than quantity time where your attention is divided.
6. Just Do It
I know that sounds very Shia, but seriously, just do it. Don't say you will and then procrastinate over when, or change plans at the last minute. If you want to see your friend that you miss, go see your friend that you miss. Make a time, be decisive, and stick to the plan. No more excuses!