Entertainment

The 'Kitten Bowl' Cats Are Purr-fect

by Alexandra Watt

Feb. 7, 2016

There is a showdown of epic proportions taking place on our television screens this Sunday, but it might not be the show you’re thinking. True, the 50th annual NFL Super Bowl will be also be airing, pitting the Carolina Panthers against the Denver Broncos, but there is another group of adorable animals facing off on Sunday: Kittens. The Kitten Bowl is airing on Hallmark, and all of their adorable fuzzy faces have me wondering if the kittens from the Kitten Bowl are adoptable.

Kitten Bowl III, which is hosted by Beth Stern, the acclaimed animal activist and Howard Stern's wife, is a super cute alternative to the Super Bowl, for those of us who aren’t as interested in American sporting events. Just like the Puppy Bowl, which is the canine-lovers’ answer to how to spend that Sunday, the Kitten Bowl provides a platform to raise awareness about animal adoption. Though all of the “cat-letes” provided by The North Shore Animal League of America were adoptable when the show was taped in September, the information on their playing cards shows that they all found good homes!

Though you can’t take any of these cuties home, you can at least take a closer look at some of these kitty athletes to see who you should root for come Sunday.

Stray J. Watt

This defensive member of the Last Hope Lions is also nicknamed "Ferris Mewler" and purportedly eats Quartercats for lunch. My money's on him for reasons totally unrelated to the fact that we share a last name.

Montee Hairball

Montee Hairball hails from Mew York Kitty and loves "Claw & Order" reruns, so by the transitive property, I love Montee Hairball.

CJ "Milk" Spiller

Filling the "Slapper" position for the North Shore Bengals, this kitten is described as being "confused" but evidently enjoys eating "Mice-a-Roni."

Howie Longhair

Howie Longhair's nickname ("Nails") is pretty ominous, but he looks like a true snuggler to me.

Jerry Mice

Jerry's hobby is crafting mice sculptures, which is admittedly creepy if he were a real football player, so thank goodness he's an adorable cat instead.

Jason Pierre-Paw

Loves: "Chasing his own tail"

Hates: "Catching it."

Really empathizing with Jason's circuitous dissonance here.

Ben Roethlis-Purr-Ger

Hoorah for this silver coated Quartercat who leads the league in "touchdown pawses."

Rob Gron-Cat-Ski

This "Tied End" for the Home & Family Felines believes that "nice cats finish last" and enjoys "sharpening claws on new blouses." So glad you were adopted by someone who accepts your flaws, Rob Groncatski, including your natural soul patch.

Coach Bill Beli-Cat

Is anyone else a little bit scared by Coach Bill Beli-Cat? He's looks to be slightly intimidating, though I'm sure that's just a byproduct of his sheer determination to "win a Kitten Bowl by any means necessary."

Well, this lineup looks like it would kick any NFL fantasy draft to the curb. Tune in to the Kitten Bowl, Sunday, Feb. 7, on the Hallmark Channel at 12 p.m ET to see these kitties do their thing.